Bare With Me

Welcome to Re-Defining Monogamy's Blog

Join LiYana's intrepid traipsing through the peaks and crannies of Sex, Relationship & Intimacy for the 21st Century

Friday, November 30th, 2007

Uncomfortable and Scared

For the last few months and weeks, I've been feeling uncomfortable and scared, almost constantly.

In addition to moving to a new city, maintaining and expanding my client base and website, teaching and writing, I am working on the creation of a dance piece, full-length, with 4-5 other dancers, a set, custom-composed music and video projection to be performed mid-2008.

This is so far on the ambitious side of things, I might even call myself crazy.

Yesterday, when I realized for how long my discomfort and fright had been going on, I began to think, "LiYana, this is madness! Why do I always do this to myself? Why do I always take on huge, immense, nearly impossible tasks that put me way, way outside my comfort zone? This is not fun! When do I get to feel like things are normal?"

And then the words of a zen meditation teacher of mine come to mind – words that always bring me such relief and mirth at the same time: "The body is not made to be eternal comfortable. Sometimes comfortable, sometimes uncomfortable. Such a worry and a stress always to be searching for comfortable."

And then I also realize that I will never stop setting myself up to create things way outside my comfort zone. And so, it would be good to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. If I choose a life – as I have – where I want to constantly learn, grow, expand, shift and create, I'm going to be uncomfortable and scared a majority of the time.

So, yes, I am still uncomfortable, and still scared… But somehow noticing that I did it on purpose re-frames it not as an indication of something wrong, but actually of something just quite right.

Share this page with your friends!
Posted by LiYana at 12:23 am

One Response to “Uncomfortable and Scared”

  1. Kaos

    It happens because you dont have main interests in your life. You just have a lot of free time to make feeling yourself "uncomfortable and scared". Solution is pretty simple: expand your imagination and knowledge of world, by reading books, watching news and developing yourself.

Twitter Updates