Bare With Me: ReDefining Monogamy's Quarterly Newsletter

Spring 2008

From Rupture to Repair

Hi

I am so excited I can hardly stay sitting down at my computer to write this!

It’s not just the cherry blossoms gracing the warming spring air. It’s not just that my past retreat
in Costa Rica went extraordinarily well, with rave reviews:

“When I arrived for this retreat, I expected my current relationship to end and was hoping to find the right man to spend my life with soon. After applying what I learned, our relationship is not only better than before – it's the best relationship I've ever had with a man, and I see a bright future ahead of us!”

“I feel I was given one of the secrets of life! And it still amazes me how simple it is, and what dramatic changes I've seen in my relationships. My boyfriend and I are forever grateful!”

No, it’s not just of these things; it’s my new course I’ll be teaching, starting this fall, “The Man/Woman Dynamic.”

In many ways, it is the culmination of all my years in private practice and all my years of research
and development (professionally as well as in my own relationship!). It is a 3-month, in-depth course, offering simple tools for extraordinary relationships, communication, intimacy and expanded sensuality.

It is a vessel for LASTING change, and walks you through rupture, to repair.
It offers THE means to end to the war between the sexes.

Below you’ll find one simple way YOU can contribute!

You’ll also find some fascinating views on anger, failure and what constitutes truly successful relationships.

Enjoy! LiYana


Whet Your Appetite: stimulating, saucy morsels


“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
~ Winston Churchill

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
~ Mohandas K. Gandhi

“Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.”
~ William Saroyan



Grasp the Naked Truth: your questions answered


Usually I answer YOUR questions, but this time, I’d love you to answer MINE!

Below you will find four simple questions – and I want your answers!

Did I mention how excited I am about “The Man/Woman Dynamic” course I’ll be teaching, starting in the fall? The content of the course has already gotten rave reviews, but I am looking for ways to make it better and of course to make sure it has everything in it that YOU value and would make a difference for YOU.

So, here’s how it goes: Take about 10 minutes and answer the following four questions and email them to me: LiYana@ReDefiningMonogamy.com

In the area of relationship, intimacy, sex, dating, attraction and connection…

  1. What do you deeply want, but think you can never (or will never) have?
  2. What doesn't seem fixable?
  3. In the relationships that you admire, what about them do you admire most, aspire to and/or are inspired by?
  4. If you spent $5,000 (on these areas listed above), what would you want to learn, master or integrate into your life in order for it to be more than worth it for you?

Bonus: when you respond to these four questions and include the following code, you’ll get a $100 discount off the course yourself!

Code: FOURQUESTIONS


Widen Your Vision: cutting edge perspectives


This is an amazing article with astounding views on failure, being "good enough"
in relationships and parenting, and leaving a place at the table for our anger!



What’s Wrong With Being Angry?
By Mark Epstein from "O, The Oprah Magazine,"
February 2008

One of the first fights my wife and I ever had, some months into our marriage, was about how to wash lettuce. It was a small thing that flared into a big thing, and it sent me running to my therapist for help in putting out the fire.

We were newly married and making dinner after work in our new apartment. I was preparing the salad, and my wife made a suggestion that I heard as a criticism. Or perhaps she criticized me and then claimed she was making a suggestion; it depends on who you want to believe.

In any case, suddenly we were at odds. Things had gone wrong. Our unity, our very love for each other, was disrupted. Our marriage, the foundation of all that we believed in, was under siege. She thought I was oversensitive and ridiculous. I thought she was controlling and unapologetic. We could not see eye to eye. I had trouble even looking at her.

I was still angry when I went for my therapy appointment, but frustrated and sheepish and confused as well.

"I suppose all I can do at these times is love her all the more strongly," I said to my therapist, drawing on my reserve of good intention, my belief in my marriage, and my conviction that by force of will I could get these troublesome feelings out of the way. I was frightened to be at odds with the person I most needed and was willing to do whatever my therapist suggested to make things better.

"Love her more strongly? That will never work," he replied with barely concealed disdain. "What's wrong with being angry?"

For me, this was a new concept. What's wrong with being angry? Everything! I did not want to be angry, I did not want her to be angry, and I did not want our marriage to have anger within it. I wanted peace and harmony and attunement and love — and sex. And yet, when I heard these words, something in me relaxed. It was okay to be angry? This did not mean that our marriage was bad? This rupture could be repaired?

For the rest of the article, click here.


Get The Skinny: what not to miss


Upcoming events with LiYana

Upcoming (free!) Tele-Classes

Yes, these are free – my way of giving back to you. Get cutting edge tools and information as well as a taste of what ReDefining Monogamy has to offer:

Bringing Sexy Back:
Decoding Desire, Attraction, and Connection

Wednesday, April 30, 2007
8:30pm – 9:30pm Eastern time
5:30pm – 6:30pm Pacific time

Desire: In a culture where we are taught to be suspect of desire, learn its corrective, downright magical powers…

Attraction: Learn the immutable, simple laws (like the Laws of Physics) of what makes you most attractive – sustainably…

Connection: Unravel the riddle of intimacy and connection: why what we want most, we are most afraid of…

Limitation: Do a simple writing exercise to decrypt what limits you in these areas – and how to move past being stopped…

For more information and to register, click here


Ask-A-Man
Your Burning Questions Answered by a a Panel of Expert Men

Wednesday, June 25, 2008
8:30pm – 9:30pm Eastern time
5:30pm – 6:30pm Pacific time

Back by popular demand, but this one is FOR men and OF men!

Think of these guys as a cross between an older brother, an experienced coach and a sexpert – all at your service.

All those things you've been wondering, but never found a way to ask your fellow men? Here's your chance to cover it all with a panel of experts, experts in the fields of dating, sex, relationship, understanding women, commitment and masculinity.

Join this lively tele-class and have your burning questions answered by a panel of expert men!

For more information and to register, click here


Step Up: simple ways to make a move


Give me your precious input!

I’ve been teaching the material in my upcoming course, “The Man/Woman Dynamic” with nothing but rave reviews thus far.

However, I am looking for ways to make it better and to make sure it has everything in it that YOU value and would make a difference for YOU.

So, here’s how it goes: Take about 10 minutes and answer the following four questions and email them to me: LiYana@ReDefiningMonogamy.com

  1. In the area of relationship, intimacy, sex, dating, attraction and connection…
  2. What do you deeply want, but think you can never (or will never) have?
  3. What doesn't seem fixable?
  4. In the relationships that you admire, what about them do you admire most, aspire to and/or are inspired by?
  5. If you spent $5,000 (on these areas listed above), what would you want to learn, master or integrate into your life in order for it to be more than worth it for you?

Bonus: when you respond to these four questions and include the following code, you’ll get a $100 discount off the course yourself!

Code: FOURQUESTIONS


Pass It On: tell a friend

So, how'd you like "From Rupture to Repair"

If you got a lot out of it, or got really into it, pass it on!

I mean, who couldn't use some cutting edge thought, tools and information on these most important, vital, juiciest areas of our lives: relationship, love, sex and intimacy?

Click here to Tell A Friend about the Bare With Me E-Newsletter!

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Relationships got you hot and bothered? Let me help.

Start with the FREE Report:
Keeping Cool: Top Ten Ways To Diffuse Reactivity

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