A Brief Introduction

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

~ Mary Oliver

I want to know what you love, what you dream of but don't yet have, and what you want most dearly and fiercely for your relationship life.

Although creating an extraordinary relationship life is a journey no one can walk but you, I do all that I do in order to say yes, it can be done, to show you how I’ve done it myself, to show you how those I’ve worked with have done it, and most importantly, how you can also do it.

As a result of our work together, you’ll experience YOUR unique version what my clients do:

If you are a woman, you will

  • Finally get out of relationship ruts and vicious circles
  • Feel truly confident and comfortable in your own skin
  • Experience less self-doubt and unhealthy behaviors
  • Re-define the belief that you have to choose between yourself and a relationship
  • Develop the power of choice of whether to be in relationship or not
  • Move forward clearly and gracefully after breakups and divorce
  • Find that the next relationship you get into is the right fit
  • Become “lit-up” and remarkably radiant
  • Feel happy, attractive and sexy as your default settings
  • Experience an unshakably loving relationship with your body,  mind and spirit
  • Turn down the volume on the crazy-making voices in your head
  • Wield the magical powers of your desires and passions in your daily life
  • Experience your sensual life soaring into the stratosphere
  • Demystify the opposite sex, for more understanding and ease in communication
  • Define the relationship you want most – and then find yourself actually having it!
  • Experience “having it all”
  • Create – and feast upon – your delicious relationship meal

If you are a couple (in partnership), you will

  • Get the trust back
  • Experience true (and ever-deepening) intimacy
  • Have more fun!
  • Define the relationship you want most – and then find yourself actually having it!
  • Experience more peace, less conflict and upset
  • Find yourself communicating easily and smoothly
  • Have fewer misunderstandings and stupid fights
  • Redefine the belief that you have to choose between your fulfillment and the relationship
  • Demystify women and decode men, for more understanding of and respect for each other
  • See your partner with new eyes so there is less blaming and more appreciation
  • Find yourself having difficult conversations and coming out them even more connected
  • Understand what you need and how to ask for it in a way that your partner hears, and responds to, rather than getting defensive
  • Have great sex (that keeps getting better and better)!
  • Create – and feast upon – your delicious relationship meal.

If you are a man, you will

  • Be truly confident and comfortable in your own skin
  • Deal skillfully with upset and emotional storms – yours and others’!
  • Feel powerfully aligned between your body, heart and sexual energy
  • Define the relationship you want most – and then find yourself actually having it!
  • Demystify women and decode men, for more understanding and respect
  • Redefine the belief that you have to choose between your power and satisfaction and the relationship
  • Have great sex (that keeps getting better and better)!
  • Create – and feast upon – your delicious relationship meal.

I have to tell you.  I wasn’t exactly born a relationship innovator.

I wanted what most of us wanted: I wanted a white knight on a white horse to give me a white dress and bring me to a white house with a white picket fence with a view of the sunset we just rode off into.

Actually, that’s not at all what I wanted. I really wanted an incredible friend, soul mate and hot lover, all rolled into one.  I really wanted black-belt level communication skills, deep intimacy, absolute trust and a deep connection that was truly sustainable.  I really wanted to feel happy, sexy, radiant, confident, devoted and loving – and to get all those things thrown right back at me.

And so, when one white night didn’t quite measure up, my eye – or heart, or body – strayed to a different white night.  To be blunt, I messed up every single relationship before the one I am in now: I lied, I cheated, got bored of, felt confined by or otherwise messed up every relationship I was trying so hard to make work.  After unintentionally hurting many wonderful, loving white knight types, and getting quite burnt myself over the years, I began to ask, “What am I missing here?”  What was wrong?  Was it me?  Was it the white nights?  Was it the model of the whole white vision?

And I dedicated the rest of my life to finding those missing pieces, amassing an education so I could experience what I (and I would imagine you, too) so very much wanted:

A red-hot, delightfully fun, deeply moving, constantly amazing, and truly extraordinary relationship.

I’ve synthesized thousands of hours of seminars and workshops, distilled the wisdom of hundreds of books, tried it all out in just under a decade of client sessions and innovated new stuff in the resilient and tireless laboratory of my own extraordinary relationship.

Over the years, I’ve had my mind and heart opened wide through studying with well-known wellness experts like Depak Chopra, Andrew Weil and David Deida and uncovered gems in the little-known hidden spots – like Yonkers, New York; Novato, California; and Pune, India – where unsung heroes and heroines teach, love and live.

My relationship philosophy is NOT:

  • A set of (out-dated, constricting) rules
  • A means to squeeze yourself into one particular version of relationship
  • A cry to buck up, work harder and make the ill-fitting thing you find yourself dying inside a bit more bearable.

My relationship philosophy IS:

  • An integration of ancient, traditional and modern philosophies of relationships, to redefine monogamy for the 21st Century.
  • About helping you to re-define what a successful, fulfilling relationship looks like for YOU, one that is as close or as far from traditional monogamy as suits you, one in which you get to draw your boundaries as well as color outside the lines!

I know, it takes a tremendous amount of courage. Although it's a journey no one can take but you, I am here to help you, to say yes, it can be done, to show you how I’ve done it, how those I’ve worked with have done it, and how you can also do it.

You first

Life is changing alarmingly quickly, and only looks to be speeding up and getting more complex. The ways we did relationships even a generation or two ago are often out-dated, impractical for life as we know it, or just plain ill-fitting.  As our culture and the world "out there" changes and shifts swiftly and dramatically, we can't always rely on them to provide accurate advice or models that fit us.  There has never been more of a need for us to have a strong, personal, internal compass than now.

You have to be able to trust and rely upon your body, your mind and your spirit’s intuition, gnosis and intelligence to create what you most desire.  Unlocking your internal compass is essential. Truly, our culture, our society and our world informs, guides us and holds us to task.  But it can no longer be the sole locus of knowing and decision making.   Just as you do not have to rely a third party to be the intermediary between you and the divine, neither do you have to rely on a third party how to tell you how to create a great relationship and intimate life.

It is vital that your relationship with you is loving, solid and authentic before you can do the same with others. It's a profound thought to have true choice, that little ol' you could KNOW.  That you can trust yourself as the locus of knowing and right action – this is radical, revolutionary and the basis of everything I teach in creating extraordinary relationships.

Saying YES, rather than NO

We mostly operate from a perspective that being human is a fallen condition. We have to fix, get better, deny, transcend or escape what's here in order to get somewhere more heavenly, satisfying or nirvanic.  My philosophy is based in Vedic Tantric philosophy, which, at the heart of it says that there is nothing to transcend, there is nothing to deny in order to get to a better place than here. The divine is having a human experience through us; there is nowhere we could go where the divine would not also be.  There's nothing to get past or transcend.  We are the divine.

It is our fixing and denying, it is our saying NO to what we've got right now, it is our attempts to transcend, escape and resist who and what we are now that creates our suffering.  Now, of course I know things can be pretty crappy right now, and it makes all the sense in the world to want them to be better.  But starting by saying YES our experience now, to ceasing the struggling, fixing, denying, resisting and transcending  is the koanic key to true life shifts, to lasting change and to having our life and relationships just keep getting better and better.

A case for desire and pleasure

You are eighteen months old and you reach out for the pretty glass vase on the table, shining, sparking, so amazing.  You want it.  You reach.  You are told, NO, maybe even your hand is slapped away.  Even if it is for good reason – who wants a glass vase falling ont he baby's head? –  we learn that going after what we want and desire can be dangerous. It can cause us to doubt ourselves. And so we learn to doubt our desires, to question what we want.  Our cultures, no matter how well-intentioned and liberal, teach us our bodies and desires are inherently flawed and are to be mistrusted.

But just like sunshine has a plant leans toward the nourishing light, our wants, desires and what brings us pleasure will have us lean toward balance, health and truth.  I have to make a strong case for the directive and corrective powers of the often misunderstood powers of pleasure, passion and desire – not only for others, but for ourself and  for life itself. Our bodies can then become a seat of intution, of knowing, of direct connection with the sacred.  Rather than denying our sexuality to become more connected spiritually, our sexuality can become a divine dialogue with our spirituality.

Surplus rather than scarcity

Not to sound too, too woo-woo, but if our relationships are to be extraordinary, we must step out of a model of scarcity and into one of surplus.

We often feel like there's not enough time, enough money, enough love, enough attention, enough sex, enough of the good stuff to go around.  We think that if someone else has some, that means there's less for us.   When we are in deficit, we are dry husks of ourselves and will bite, scratch, shame and blame our way to try and get what we need. When we are in surplus, and feel full up, like there's plenty to go around, we are at our best and want the best for those around us.  Is the world a place of scarcity or a place of surplus?  We can build a case for either reality.  You have to ask yourself, which would you prefer?  It's from a condition of being in surplus – our own and our partner's – that we can create and experience what we most want in relationships, sex and intimacy.

Where to go from here?

Throughout this website and in all of my work, I’ve taken complex, confusing topics and turned them into simple, real-life tools and skills. I’ve simplified and integrated the gems and I’ve only included the stuff that works.

To start putting it all into action in your relationship life immediately, click here: Products and Services.


Share this page with your friends!

Join my mailing list


Relationships got you hot and bothered? Let me help.

Start with the FREE Report:
Keeping Cool: Top Ten Ways To Diffuse Reactivity

It's sweetly simple:


Name
Email

You can also anticipate:

  • Bare With Me: my stimulating, saucy, quarterly newsletter
  • Weekly Mini's: juicy, bite-sized relationship tips
  • The Skinny: zesty, compelling upcoming events
  • PLUS: a Second Bonus Report: "A Strict Diet of Self-Appreciation"

Sit back, relax and enjoy it all, chilled!


To help with email overwhelm, I promise you'll hear from me no more than 4-5 times a month!

Twitter Updates