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Join LiYana's intrepid traipsing through the peaks and crannies of Sex, Relationship & Intimacy for the 21st Century

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Love Before Love

2.BellyLoveMy boyfriend and I have been in a wonderful and rich conversation the last several months as we've been creating our engagement vows. Since engagement means you intend to marry, and we intend to marry consciously and create our own vows, we need those vows now, pre-marriage so we can be clear about what we are vowing to!

A friend just came back from a week at the hot springs. She took her computer, but vowed not to open it. Instead she renewed her marriage vows with herself.

Before we can love another, we must love our own self, truly, madly and deeply.

Love After Love, by Derek Walcott

"The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life."

So this week, celebrate Love Before Love – the love affair you must have with you, before you can have it with another:

1. Take a few moments to write out to what you are vowing (what you are committing to, what you are upholding, who you will be for you…), in your love affair with you.

2. Decide on a symbolic gesture (a ring out of a gum-ball machine, a pricey piece of bling, a bouquet of flowers, a calligraphed copy of your vows, framed…) and be trothed.

To your brilliant love affair,

Enjoy, LiYana

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Posted by LiYana at 11:51 pm

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