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Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

Getting To Good

Like an acme safe ala cartoonland, I recently feel like I got hit on the head with EXACTLY HOW to have my life and relationship be great, gorgeous always full of fun and delight.

Only instead of landing like a ton of steel, this landed like a drizzle of honey on a bed of feathers.

The price to earn pleasure is not pain and suffering.
The price to earn pleasure is enjoying what is already HERE.
It is pulling your head out of your own ass and looking around and acknowledging all the good that is already present.
The best place to start is approving of what is SO.
It is looking around at God's green earth and the flora and fauna and crazy wonderful humans inhabiting it, and finding it good.
The key to getting the good stuff is to start with the good stuff.
And the key to getting things to be better is to start with the good stuff.

The law of physics around having things get better is that things have to be GOOD before they can get BETTER.
If things are bad, they have to get good before they can get better. You can't get from bad to better, you have to get to good first.
The law looks something like this: bad –> good –> better.

The key is to start with good. Then, when things are good – I mean, that's pretty great, right? Could stop right there. But what if things got even better?

I have an awesome relationship. It floors me constantly and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't feel grateful and blessed for this work of art we've co-created. We've recently had one rocky point where we are not on the same page: around whether to have a child together. And a few months ago we were having a really crappy time figuring this one out, in fact we almost broke up because of how much we were suffering trying to figure it out. It was then pointed out to me that we were having a terrible time and losing big time, while we were figuring it out.

(Enter visual – safe falling on LiYana's head).

Wait a minute? What if we could we have a great time figuring this out? What would that be like?

And what has happened since then is amazing – a torrential deepening of love and appreciation, an easy clarity around what we both fear around having a child, and what would be amazing. All the while a greater sense of partnership and so much more fun and enjoying each other. We're figuring this one out, and having an even better time doing so.

We both pulled our sorry asses out of "bad" and got ourselves to "good" and it keeps getting better and better and better….

These are things I've always known, but sometimes they alternate between peeping and sleeping in me, but now they are roaring and won't shut up. Thankfully.

This is largely due to some amazing courses I have been taking this summer with Morehouse, ( This is a collective of "Responsible Hedonists," who've been living together successfully for around 40 years, by the simple and delicious philosophies of how to live well and have rich, fun, happy and satisfying lives.

I might get this slightly wrong, but here's the essence of a great quote that sums it all up nicely:

"Your enjoyment is your blessing on God's creation."
– Vic Baranco

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Posted by LiYana at 7:46 pm

3 Responses to “Getting To Good”

  1. David Wood

    hey baby

    cool quote.

    You came up top 10 in a search for victor baranco

  2. David Wood

    hey baby

    cool quote.

    You came up top 10 in a search for victor baranco

  3. David Wood

    hey baby

    cool quote.

    You came up top 10 in a search for victor baranco

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