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	<title>Redefining Monogamy</title>
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		<title>Mini Relationship Tip: Pop-Porn</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-pop-porn</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-pop-porn#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Jan 2011 00:40:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4489</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This one's for guy's eyes, but women, you're welcome to be a fly on the wall.
I liken porn to junk food. Pop-corn, pop-porn, you get the metaphor. But lust because I am using "porn" and "junk food" in the same sentence doesn't mean I am saying you shouldn't have any.
Life is no fun without a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This one's for guy's eyes, but women, you're welcome to be a fly on the wall.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/popcorn.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1122" title="popcorn" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/popcorn.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="200" /></a>I liken porn to junk food. Pop-corn, pop-porn, you get the metaphor. But lust because I am using "porn" and "junk food" in the same sentence doesn't mean I am saying you shouldn't have any.</p>
<p>Life is no fun without a little junk food, right? It's fun, it's tasty, it's a rush, it is an indulgence, it reminds us of our adolescence and it can be comforting.</p>
<p>But you have to watch out for too much, because then you get sluggish, low-energy, overweight, depressed, and other serious diseases. A good rule for food is 90% of the time eat healthy, whole, nutritious food that makes you healthy, happy, energized and ready for life. 10% of the time is for whatever junk food does it for you.</p>
<p>The same goes for porn.</p>
<p>Porn is like junk food. A little here and there is fun, tasty, a rush, an indulgence, reminds you of your adolescence and it can be comforting.</p>
<p>Porn can be hot. Porn can be fun, I am not suggesting you should have NO PORN.</p>
<p>I just want to draw some attention to some side-effects from over-saturation of porn.</p>
<p>Too much porn is numbing, de-sensitizing, it limits the depth of sensuality that is possible to have with another human being, and quite honestly, narrows your capacity as a great lover.</p>
<p>I suggest that you consider porn to be junk food, not your mainstay of sensual and sexual sustenance and nourishment.</p>
<p>Not easy. Porn is hurled at you from every corner. Most men I have asked said they first learned about or encountered sex from pornography. Porn is where you so often get your schooling around sex and sensuality. It is what you were weaned on, and that is the steady diet incessantly tossed your way for your whole lifetime.</p>
<p>(Yes, there is porn made for and by women, but in general, porn is consumed by and created for men.)</p>
<p>So, porn is where too many men get their  information on what is sexy, what is sensual, what a sexy body should look like, what gets a person off.</p>
<p>Which is all often far from a real life encounter with a real live partner.</p>
<p>Eating junk food all the time can't create a healthy, vital being. Likewise, a steady diet of porn also cannot create a healthy, vital, integrated sensual, aware human being.</p>
<p>So, this week:</p>
<p>1. You don't have to give porn up, just consider whittling it down to 10%, as a delicious indulgence. And consider devoting some of your energy to sex and sensuality in the real world.</p>
<p>It's time to get healthy, guys, time to expand your sexual nutrition horizons. What are your off-screen turn-ons? What makes real life women hot? What have you been missing that would make you a phenomenal lover? What do you have yet to learn to be fully on your game?</p>
<p>Enjoy, LiYana</p>
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		<title>Mini Relationship Tip: De-Fuse</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-de-fuse</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-de-fuse#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Dec 2010 03:14:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4484</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know how it goes. The conversation starts out OK, but all of a sudden it is like someone lit a fuse and set off a fireworks display of defensiveness, blame, lashing out, accusation, icy silence or hurled insults.
Want to know how keep that fuse from being lit, especially around this holiday time? How to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="color: #993300;">You know how it goes.</span> The conversation starts out OK, but all of a sudden it is like someone lit a fuse and set off a fireworks display of defensiveness, blame, lashing out, accusation, icy silence or hurled insults.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/fuse2.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1106" title="fuse2" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/fuse2.jpg" alt="" width="183" height="275" /></a><span style="color: #993300;">Want to know how keep that fuse from being lit,</span> especially around this holiday time? How to De-Fuse an upset or conflict?  How to cool it all down enough to restore some rationality, create some space for some real communication and connection?</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"> I thought you might.</span></p>
<p>It is unchecked reactivity that is the highway robbery of connection.  Reactivity can sideswipe and derail any well-meaning communication. <span style="color: #993300;">By De-Fusing reactivity,</span> the other person will feel like you still “have their back” rather than have suddenly become the aggressor or their opponent.</p>
<p>Some of these 12 ways will work well for colleagues and friends, others for your partners and family.</p>
<p>They are generalizations, since all of us humans are different and unique, but for the grand majority, they hold true.</p>
<p>These will work at the first sign of reactivity – yours or theirs. And it goes without saying that none of these will work unless they are <span style="color: #993300;">100% genuine and from your heart.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">12 Ways To De-Fuse, this holiday season:</span></p>
<p>Pick one, or try all 12!</p>
<p>(You can sing along, if you'd like: "On the 12th day of De-Fusing, my true love gave to me &#8230;")</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">1.  Start With Appreciation:</span> It may not always be the first thing on your mind, but make it a practice to have it be the first thing out of your mouth. Tell 'em what you honestly love about them, what they did for you, said to you, how they moved you, etc. You'll not only activate your ability to be grateful, but you and others will rise in value and worth in your eyes.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">2.  Be Gentle. </span>A full-frontal assault on someone, all guns blaring is usually not that effective, unless your aim is a knock-down, drag-out fight. If your aim is healthy communication, start with some vulnerability, with your throat bared, so to speak. This will set the stage for you both to be kind and considerate to each other.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">3.  Repeat It Back.</span> What you hear is often a far cry from than what person intended.  Since language is an approximation, we all interpret the same words in often vastly different ways.  A good rule of thumb is to repeat back to someone what you think they just said: “So, here’s what I think I just heard you say. You are feeling/thinking&#8230;” Stopping to clarify in this way can save you so much of the pain that comes from the build-up of repeated misunderstanding.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">Especially effective with men: </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">4.  Consider Your Timing. </span>Can he focus on you right now or would you do better to wait until later?</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">5.  Acknowledgment. </span>Tell him some way he has touched you, impressed you, something he has done well.  Thank him. This opens him up to let down his guard and hear you.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">6.  Give Him Space. </span> Sometimes guys need to take a long time to answer you, or they need to go away for a while and figure it out.  If you give him space, he will come back with something great.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">7.  Give Him A Way to Win.</span> Consider posing your communication in the form of a problem he can solve or you can solve together, rather than as something he isn't doing right. Guys come in to their element when there is a way for them to "win", to show up as a hero, and when there is something that they can fix.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">Especially effective with women:</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">8.  Make Physical Contact With Her,</span> like a touch or a hug. Physical contact is grounding and calming like nothing else, and reminds her of your presence. She will stop worrying that you are outa there, and will then be open to hear what you have to say.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">9.  Remind Her That You Are Not Leaving. </span>In a highly emotional and heated situation, especially if you walk away or become emotionally distant, women can become triggered and feel like you are leaving for good.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">10. What Do You Love About Her?</span> Is it the curve of her neck? Her rapier wit? Her grace? Tell her. Often in an upset, she may feel that you no longer love her (even if you said it earlier in the day), or that because you are angry, she is losing your love. Is there limit to the number of times you can tell a woman you love her, or what you love about her? Um, no.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">And, for all humans, again&#8230;</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">11. Say It Differently. </span>If someone is responding as though they haven’t heard you, no matter how many times you have said it before, THEY are not stupid, YOU have not said it in a WAY they can hear. Try using different words, tone or intention.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">12. Go For Humour. </span>For example, if your Aunt Mildred always badgers you about why you aren't married yet, or why YET AGAIN you didn't bring home a prospective partner, you can tell her something like, "Listen, I know you are excited to hear about the scores of marriage offers I've had to turn down this month and all the love letters I've framed on my wall. And I know you want to discuss what to cook for the eight suitors I brought, but let's find something else to talk about, OK?" Adjust humour and content accordingly&#8230;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;">Enjoy &#8211; and for extra points, tell me which one worked best!</span></p>
<p>LiYana﻿</p>
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		<title>Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-come-some-other-time</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-come-some-other-time#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Dec 2010 01:43:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4474</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;
Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time.
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"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking  a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, 'I guess we answered that question.'" ~ Author Unknown
Here's another [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<br />
Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time.<br />
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<p><em>"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking  a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, 'I guess we answered that question.'"</em> ~ Author Unknown</p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-4475" title="blondeinwhite copy" src="http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/wp-content/uploads//2010/11/blondeinwhite-copy-150x110.jpg" alt="blondeinwhite copy" width="200" height="147" />Here's another way to answer the question of who comes first &#8211; or at all.</p>
<p>Ready?  No one. Neither of you!</p>
<p>The point of this is to shift the goal of a sexual experience from climax to exploration of sensation and expansion of pleasure.</p>
<p>So often sex is so climax-focused and goal-oriented that you can miss out on a ton of amazing stuff along the way.  This is about re-defining the goal as the pleasurable process itself.</p>
<p>Here's how it goes:</p>
<p>(Note: adjust this accordingly, depending on if you will be doing this with a partner, or by yourself)</p>
<p>1. Prepare an inviting, sexy, sensually-rich, comfortable space.</p>
<p>2. Take a moment to connect, settle down from whatever you were doing before.</p>
<p>3. Feel free to do whatever sensual and sexual things you want, however you usually do it, but remember to stay present to the sensations.  The goal is to have each moment be more pleasurable than the last.</p>
<p>If you feel your mind wandering, bring it back to what is going on, what sensations you are experiencing. If you feel close to climax, relax and breathe into the sensations, spreading them from your genitals throughout your body.</p>
<p>4. Continue, experiment, breathe, indulge, relax, communicate and enjoy!  But, Come Some Other Time.</p>
<p>OPTIONAL: Take some time to share the experience – what it was like for you to have sexual experience that’s focus was NOT focused on orgasm/climax, but on everything but?</p>
<p>What did you learn, what did you like, what would you like to throw away, what would you like to include in your future love-making?</p>
<p>By the way, this isn't to mean you should NEVER climax, just not THIS time <img src='http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' />  .</p>
<p><em>"At some point while in the midst of making love, stop. Don't move. Look into your lover's eyes. Breathe in slowly and inhale their being. Feel God through them. Then continue to make love not as two people, but as<br />
a God and a Goddess."</em> ~ Anonymous</p>
<p>Enjoy,</p>
<p>LiYana</p>
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		<title>Get S.A.S.S.Y. 5-week tele-series</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/get-s-a-s-s-y-5-week-tele-series</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/get-s-a-s-s-y-5-week-tele-series#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:51:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4422</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[with LiYana Silver 

The 5 Secrets to becoming the happy, sexy woman your dream guy wishes he could meet!
&#160;
•   Feeling like you always have to choose between YOU and a relationship?
•   Longing to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin?

•   Wondering if all the good men are already [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>with LiYana Silver </strong></span></span></p>
<p><strong><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #993300;">The 5 Secrets to becoming the happy, sexy woman your dream guy wishes he could meet!</span></span></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p>•   Feeling like you always have to choose between YOU and a relationship?<br />
•   Longing to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin?</p>
<div id="side-info-column" class="inner-sidebar"></div>
<p>•   Wondering if all the good men are already taken?<br />
•   Do your efforts to solve your issues only dig you deeper into “stupid” fights?<br />
•   Having those sneaky doubts that love might just pass you by?<br />
•   Want the 5 simple secrets to becoming the happy, sexy woman your dream guy wishes he could meet?</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><br />
I'm delighted to introduce &#8230;</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Get S.A.S.S.Y.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>The 5 Secrets to becoming the happy, sexy woman your dream guy wishes he could meet!</strong></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/sassy.png"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-770" title="sassy" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/sassy.png" alt="" width="171" height="115" /></a>&#8230; my just-for-woman 5-part tele-series</p>
<p>For women, in relationship or out, this will hand you the keys to an extraordinary relationship life, where you – and it – keeps getting better and better and better.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong> </strong></span></p>
<p><strong>In this 5-week tele-course, you can expect to find and wield:</strong></p>
<p>•    The skills to turn an impasse into intimacy, in an instant<br />
•    The precise recipe for putting your own oxygen mask on<br />
first (which ups your attractiveness by leaps and bounds!)<br />
•    The 3 vital keys to feeling confident and comfortable in your<br />
own skin (those women who “glow”? this is what they know)<br />
•    The daily recipes for a loving relationship with yourself<br />
•    Your Internal Compass, the source of your joy, satisfaction,<br />
inner guidance, intuition, clear deciscion-making abilities.<br />
•    Elegant communication skills &#8211; ease, grace and some humour,<br />
anyone?<br />
•    The tools to deepen your connection in every area, and have<br />
that permeate your sensual life<br />
•    Restore your hope in lasting love!</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Why SASSY?  S. A. S. S.Y. … each one is one of the five secrets!</strong></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #993300;"><br />
</span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: xx-large;"><span style="color: #993300;">S</span></span> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #993300;">. . . Stop War of Sexes  (Week #1)</span></span></strong></p>
<p>•  <a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/PowerStruggle2-copy.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-762" title="85730723" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/PowerStruggle2-copy.jpg" alt="" width="101" height="103" /></a> Discover what men really want from women (it’s not what you think); and how giving it to him is the best thing you can do for yourself<br />
•     Regain your deep respect for men, the zing of love and the soul-to-soul connection<br />
•     Get a lighter heart, and a look at true, lasting partnership.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></strong></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;"><span style="font-size: xx-large;">A</span><span style="font-size: xx-large;"> <span style="font-size: large;">. . . </span></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Appreciation  (Week #2)</span></span></strong></p>
<p>•<strong><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/tips-copy.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-766" title="85827877" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/tips-copy.jpg" alt="" width="101" height="123" /></a></strong> Learn how to move from impasse to intimacy in an instant<br />
•     Get everything you want from men, in a way where he’s inspired to give it<br />
•     Set the foundation for resolving tough conflicts with ease</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: xx-large;">S <span style="font-size: large;">. . .</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> Self-Awareness: (Week #3)</span></strong></span></p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/2.BellyLove.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-764" title="2.BellyLove" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/2.BellyLove.jpg" alt="" width="100" height="79" /></a>•     Learn what stands in your way of happiness, pleasure and satisfaction – and move it gently aside<br />
•     Practice a simple method for turning down the mean, catty voices in your head (yes, we all have them)<br />
•     Answer the question once and for all, "Is it him or is it me?" and expect a surge of energy as you reclaim a big dose of your lost power</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: xx-large;">S <span style="font-size: large;">. . .</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Self-Care  (Week #4)</span></strong></span></p>
<p>•     T<span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/beautifulblackwoman.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-765" title="beautifulblackwoman" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/beautifulblackwoman.jpg" alt="" width="97" height="149" /></a></span></strong></span>hose women who glow and are irresistibly attractive?  This is how you become one!<br />
•       The precise recipe that sets you at your very best (how much, how often, where, when and with whom)<br />
•     Watch out for the strange side effects of increased confidence, certainty and getting comfortable in your own skin</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: xx-large;"> </span></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><span style="font-size: xx-large;">Y</span> <span style="font-size: large;">. . .</span><span style="font-size: large;"> Your Inner Guidance System  (Week #5)</span></strong></span></p>
<p>•     <a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/9.GlowingHands.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-763" title="200458998-001" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/9.GlowingHands.jpg" alt="" width="101" height="134" /></a>Find the source of your unshakable happiness, sassiness and fulfillment<br />
•     Know in your bones when you are with the right person<br />
•     Never again have to choose between yourself (or your freedom, or your creativity or your self-expression) and the relationship<br />
•     Discover and use the Principles of Feminine power to attract and receive your desires</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">Over 5 weeks</span>, </strong>I’ll walk you (and a passionate, powerful group of women) through the 5 secrets.  You’ll learn, you’ll practice and you’ll integrate, so the secrets are yours for your lifetime.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">So, that’s</span> </strong>5 tele-classes, once a week, 1.5 hours each class. You’ll get simple exercises after each class to fully integrate all you are learning.  PLUS: Bonus Q+A class, just to get all your questions answered.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Can’t make a class live?</strong> </span>Don’t worry – it will all be recorded for you to catch up easily.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><em><strong><em><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Megan.jpg"><img class="alignleft" title="Megan" src="../wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Megan.jpg" alt="" width="75" height="100" /></a>“</em></strong><em>Now  that I’m a newly divorced mom of a toddler and thinking about  relationships again someday, I’ve got the tools to be the woman I want  to be for my son, my family, my business and someday for a lover.<em> <strong>I’m so glad I got clear on this before embarking on another relationship that could have been doomed before it even began.</strong></em><strong>”</strong></em></em></p>
<p><em><em> </em></em></p>
<p><strong>~ Megan Franzen</strong><strong>,</strong> Mom &amp; Health Counselor, New York</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><em><em>"LiYana helped shed   light on dark corners and merry go rounds that<strong> all my years of  therapy didn’t enlighten or allow me to get off the endless  circling. </strong></em></em><em><em>And he just asked me to  marry him!</em></em><em><em>”</em></em></p>
<p><strong>~ Elizabeth D’Agostino,</strong><em> Nonprofit Consultant, New York</em></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong><em> </em></strong></p>
<p><em><strong><em><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2010/02/kelly.jpg"><img class="alignleft" title="kelly" src="../wp-content/uploads/2010/02/kelly.jpg" alt="" width="74" height="93" /></a>“Working with LiYana is like</em></strong><strong><em> working with a sure thing!”</em></strong></em></p>
<p>~ Kelly Drury, Entrepreneur, New York</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong> Schedule:</strong></span></p>
<p>Tuesday, October 5<br />
Tuesday, October 12<br />
Tuesday, October 19<br />
Monday, October 25<br />
Monday, November 1     (Special bonus Q&amp;A call)<br />
Tuesday, November 2</p>
<p>5:15-6:45pm Pacific time / 8:15 &#8211; 9:45pm Eastern time</p>
<p><strong><br />
<span style="color: #993300;">What if </span></strong>you do everything, show up fully, try it all 100% and you don’t make astounding progress?<strong> </strong> <strong>Don’t worry, I always offer a money-back guarantee.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">So &#8230; which will it be for you?</span><br />
</strong></p>
<p><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: #993300;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Option #1:</span> The Get SASSY 5-Part Tele-Series</span></strong></span></p>
<p><strong>Includes:</strong></p>
<p>•     <strong>Get SASSY</strong> <strong>5-Part</strong> <strong>Tele-Series </strong>plus bonus Q&amp;A call<br />
•     <strong>Bonus #1:</strong> Gift for Your Girlfriend: she gets it, at your price.<br />
•     <strong>Bonus #2:</strong> Appreciation Mini-Bootcamp.</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Regularly $495 </strong></span><span style="color: #993300;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"> <strong>$395 Fast Action Scholarship <span style="color: #000000;">for the first 22 people (or until end of day, September 19,which ever is first)!</span></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><em><br />
“I’m ready to Get SASSY!”</em></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Click <a href="http://www.profcs.com/SecureCart/SecureCart.aspx?mid=05757F22-70E0-4793-B11A-D57FDC620BFF&amp;pid=b3a11d243208453292e9d3b2bec318c4&amp;bn=1" target="_blank">here</a> to register for Option 1, get your discount and collect your bonuses!</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Click <a href="http://www.profcs.com/SecureCart/SecureCart.aspx?mid=05757F22-70E0-4793-B11A-D57FDC620BFF&amp;pid=c3b98641c70a4bd8a30c9748450457f9&amp;bn=1" target="_blank">here</a> if you'd like to pay in 2-installments of $255 and collect your bonuses (no discount with this option).<br />
</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: #993300;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Option #2:</span> The Get SASSY and Change Your Relationship Destiny Package</span></strong></span></p>
<p>Is it time to step out of your relationship ruts once and for all? (ugh, we know what more of the same will get you!)</p>
<p>Add exquisite private support to get to the source of your painful patterns so they never come back.</p>
<p><strong>Includes:</strong></p>
<p>•     <strong>Get SASSY 5-Part Tele-Series</strong> plus bonus Q&amp;A call<br />
•     <strong>3 in-depth sessions </strong>with LiYana (one-on-one, or with your partner)<br />
•     <strong>Bonus #1:</strong> Gift for Your Girlfriend: she gets it, at your price<br />
•     <strong>Bonus #2:</strong> Appreciation Mini-Bootcamp</p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Regularly $1295</strong></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">$995 Fast Action Scholarship <span style="color: #000000;">for the first 11 people </span></span><span style="color: #000000;"><strong> (or until end of day, September 19,which ever is first)!</strong></span></strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong><em><br />
"I’ll take The Works, please!”</em></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Click <a href="http://www.profcs.com/SecureCart/SecureCart.aspx?mid=05757F22-70E0-4793-B11A-D57FDC620BFF&amp;pid=6fa9bc241f1f4814ac9a981782747c74&amp;bn=1" target="_blank">here</a> to register for Option 2, get your discount, set up your sessions and collect your bonuses!</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>Click <a href="http://www.profcs.com/SecureCart/SecureCart.aspx?mid=05757F22-70E0-4793-B11A-D57FDC620BFF&amp;pid=e4fcb129d1d140a69f2a1693612a5180&amp;bn=1" target="_blank">here</a> if you'd like to pay in 2-installments of $655 and collect your bonuses (no discounts with this option).</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p>I can't wait to get started with you on your path to your birthright: sweet confidence, compelling radiance and an epic relationship &#8211; with yourself first!</p>
<p>To your sassy, saucy self,</p>
<p>LiYana</p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/signature-purple.png"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-761" title="signature-purple" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/signature-purple.png" alt="" width="246" height="103" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Questions?</strong> Email LiYana: liyana (at) love3point0 (dot) com or <a href="http://www.love3point0.com/contact/" target="_blank">Contact LiYana</a> here.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Mini Relationship Tip: Fearwalk</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-fearwalk</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/mini-relationship-tip-fearwalk#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:40:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4419</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;
How can we expect to have a great relationship with another without one with ourselves first?
A couple weeks ago, I sat in my living room, talking intensely with  my husband. I forget what about, actually. Without meaning to be unkind,  he laid some kind of truth on me, and up came some very [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;</p>
<p>How can we expect to have a great relationship with another without one with ourselves first?</p>
<p>A couple weeks ago, I sat in my living room, talking intensely with  my husband. I forget what about, actually. Without meaning to be unkind,  he laid some kind of truth on me, and up came some very strong emotions  in me.</p>
<p>Shame. Feeling like a victim. Self-pity. Despair.</p>
<p>My first reaction was, "If I feel this, I'll die." Followed by, "OK, what if I fall into you, rather than resist?"</p>
<p>I prepared myself for a long ride. I pictured myself flinging myself  on the bed, crying for days, fully feeling the breadth and depth. I  opened into the strong emotion when usually I would have clamped down,  closed, denied and resisted.</p>
<p>And yes, a flood came. It burnt and seared, tore and scratched. I  breathed, relaxed, did my best to just not flex and tense up it as it  came.</p>
<p>And 3 minutes later it left.</p>
<p>Huh? I had prepared for 3 hours, 3 days, but 3 minutes?</p>
<p>A friend of mine told me that researchers say the life-span of an  emotion is 90 seconds &#8211; if we don't "feed" it with our resistance,  judgment, denial, etc. Who knew?</p>
<p>I can't promise similar brevity, to you, or even to me next time, but I took the lesson to heart:<br />
<em><br />
"Practicing love often means feeling through fear: intentionally opening  yourself when you would rather close down, giving yourself when you  would rather hide. Love means recognizing yourself as the open fullness  of this moment regardless of its contents &#8212; trenchant thoughts,  enchanting pleasures, heavy emotions, or gnawing pains &#8212; and  surrendering all hold on the familiar act you call 'me'." </em></p>
<p>~ David Deida</p>
<p>So, today, your mini relationship tip is:</p>
<p>1. Next time you notice a strong emotion coming up, and the familiar  feeling of "If I feel that, I'll die," try feeling through the fear, the  reaction to blame, lash out,  crumple or run.</p>
<p>Intentionally open yours elf when you would rather close down.  Give yourself when you would rather hide.</p>
<p>Why? To not move the way fear makes you move; to move the way love asks you to move.</p>
<p>To your fearwalk,</p>
<p>LiYana</p>
<a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.redefiningmonogamy.com%2Fmini-relationship-tip-fearwalk&amp;linkname=Mini%20Relationship%20Tip%3A%20Fearwalk">Share this page with your friends!</a>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Spirituality and Sexuality</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/spirituality-and-sexuality</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/spirituality-and-sexuality#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Aug 2010 01:05:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4409</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Can there be devotion AND desire?  Can sexuality and spirituality  coexist?  Could perhaps fully embracing both devotion to the spiritual  and desire in a sexual sense, each draw you deeper into the other?
"Drop this antagonism toward sex. If you ever want love to shower in  your life, renounce this conflict with sex. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Can there be devotion AND desire?  Can sexuality and spirituality  coexist?  Could perhaps fully embracing both devotion to the spiritual  and desire in a sexual sense, each draw you deeper into the other?</p>
<p>"Drop this antagonism toward sex. If you ever want love to shower in  your life, renounce this conflict with sex. Accept sex blissfully.  Acknowledge its sacredness. Acknowledge its benediction. Go on searching  deeper and deeper into it, and you will be amazed that the more you  accept sex with a quality of sacredness, the more sacred it will become.  And the more you are in conflict with it, as if it were something  sinful and dirty, the more sinful and ugly it will become. "</p>
<p>~ Osho</p>
<p>Osho, in case you are not familiar with him, was also known as  Rajneesh, an Indian guru, whose ashram still exists in Pune, India, a  place I've been several times. Although there are plenty of quirks about  Osho, the Ashram and his teachings, I do love his perspective, so  similar to Vedic Tantrism.</p>
<p>Tantra, for most of us, conjures up Sting having sex for eight hours  at a time.  Not a bad image for some of us <img src='http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' /> . but Tantra isn't only  about sex.  It's actually a larger philosophy, and views on sex is one  part of that larger philosophy.</p>
<p>Vedic Tantrics were the odd-balls of India, sort of like the mystic  Sufis were to Islam. (Think poets like Rumi, Hafiz and Lalla). Vedic  Tantric philosophy espouses that there is nowhere to get to, in your  spiritual seekings.  There is nothing to transcend, no place to work  hard to be let into, if you are good enough, right enough, pure enough,  etc.</p>
<p>They assert that there is nowhere you could go that isn't the  divine.  You are the Divine. The Divine is having a human experience  through you.</p>
<p>Sure does take a lot of pressure off to constantly struggle and  strive to get somewhere else besides here, in order to be finally OK.   Whew.</p>
<p>They also say that anything you repress or resist has power over you,  and so they  dive into the things they are resisting or repressing,  like sex. One of the only spiritual teachings to INCLUDE rather than  exclude sex, i take off my hat to the Vedic Tantrics.  Spiritual doesn't  have to exclude Sexual.</p>
<p>The best thing I could wish on any of you, and certainly myself, is  to have "love shower in my life" as Osho says.  Here's to your showers  of love!</p>
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		<title>Is Polyamory Wrong?</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/is-polyamory-wrong</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/is-polyamory-wrong#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 04:51:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4402</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From this site:  http://tcritic.com/archives/polyamory-is-wrong/

What do YOU think?
Share this page with your friends!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>From this site:  http://tcritic.com/archives/polyamory-is-wrong/</p>
<p><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-4403" title="polyamory-is-wrong" src="http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/wp-content/uploads//2010/08/polyamory-is-wrong-300x300.jpg" alt="polyamory-is-wrong" width="300" height="300" /></p>
<p>What do YOU think?</p>
<a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.redefiningmonogamy.com%2Fis-polyamory-wrong&amp;linkname=Is%20Polyamory%20Wrong%3F">Share this page with your friends!</a>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>What is the color of Love?</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/what-is-the-color-of-love</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/what-is-the-color-of-love#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Jul 2010 17:01:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4393</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
When I was little, my dad could never keep our toothbrushes straight.
So as not to keep using mine or my mom's, he created a color-coding system.  Red for Roland (my dad), Blue for Beverly (my mom) and Yellow for LiYana (that's me).
OK, yellow for LiYana was a stretch, but they didn't make Lavender toothbrushes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/RedHeart1.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-641" title="RedHeart" src="http://www.love3point0.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/RedHeart1.jpg" alt="" width="110" height="118" /></a></p>
<p>When I was little, my dad could never keep our toothbrushes straight.</p>
<p>So as not to keep using mine or my mom's, he created a color-coding system.  Red for Roland (my dad), Blue for Beverly (my mom) and Yellow for LiYana (that's me).</p>
<p>OK, yellow for LiYana was a stretch, but they didn't make Lavender toothbrushes in 1979.</p>
<p>And the color coding system stuck, and went for things other than dental care, like jackets, pens, folders, etc.</p>
<p>My wonderful father passed away almost two years ago.  About 10 days ago, on Father's day, I picked my head up out of my computer  (buried as I was in the details of an all-consuming launch), because I realized I couldn't call him to say hi and acknowledge him for his fathering. And I missed him.</p>
<p>One of my coaches suggested (and please use this if it resonates with you!) that I find a sign or object for my father to let his presence be known, even that's he's passed. So, every time I see Red (like a bird or a valentine or lipgloss), I think of him.</p>
<p>It felt a little funny to be working away on a Sunday AND on Father's Day, but this launch must go on. No turning back and all that.</p>
<p>Hard or as much as I work, it's vital to me that each thing I do, whether a client session, an email, or even mundane details, be done with Love.  Love and care and good ju-ju, it all gets in there.  You can feel it.</p>
<p>And so it felt like a mini omen to get an email from my mom, later that Father's day, telling me some things she remembered about her beloved husband of nearly 40 years. She signed her email, "Red for Roland, Blue for Beverly and Love for LiYana."</p>
<p>Well, Dad, thanks for showing up in things like cardinals, fire engine lipstick, and my favorite crimson shirt. And, Mom, I guess instead of Yellow, it'll be Love for LiYana from now on.</p>
<p>What, after all, is the color of Love?</p>
<p>If you want to take another peek at this launch I've put so much Love into, you can Love it up here:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.radiance2010.com/liyana" target="_blank">http://www.radiance2010.com/liyana</a></p>
<p>"Love is all around you like the air, and is the very breath of  your being." ~ Barry Long</p>
<p>To Love, LiYana</p>
<p>PS: If you are moved to, send this on to other women who might like a little more love and radiance!<br />
<a href="http://www.radiance2010.com/liyana" target="_blank"><br />
http://www.radiance2010.com/liyana</a></p>
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		<title>Divine Dating</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/divine-dating</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/divine-dating#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jun 2010 03:47:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ASCEND
A Five-fold Path for Divine Dating in the 21st  Century
Published in New York Spirit Magazine, Summer 2010
By LiYana Silver
Have you ever wondered if dating is a modern form of  torture, an iron maiden slowly squeezing the last breaths from our  hopeful hearts? Is the dating pool a mass of muck and mire [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">ASCEND</span></strong></p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">A Five-fold Path for Divine Dating in the 21st  Century</span></strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.nyspirit.com/Sacred_Sex/Ascend/" target="_blank">Published in New York Spirit Magazine, Summer 2010</a></p>
<p>By LiYana Silver</p>
<p><img class="alignright" src="http://www.nyspirit.com/Sacred_Sex/Ascend/images/Ascend.jpg" alt="" width="193" height="253" />Have you ever wondered if dating is a modern form of  torture, an iron maiden slowly squeezing the last breaths from our  hopeful hearts? Is the dating pool a mass of muck and mire to be paddled  through in hopes of reaching the far-off shores of our ideal  relationship? Or could dating be a transcendent experience, a meeting of  gods and goddesses in shining, soul-opening moments over cocktails?  Could dating be divine? I consulted four other relationship experts who  offered some heavenly answers to these worldly questions and revealed a  five-fold path that can illuminates our way.</p>
<p>Dating. It ain't what it used to be. The entire rulebook of courtship  seems to have changed. The hows, wheres, whens, whats and whys barely  even resemble those of our parents or grandparents. The internet is just  over a generation old, drastically influencing how and where we meet  people. How do you know when is the right time to call, to have sex, to  stop dating other people? What we do on dates &#8211; and why &#8211; is also open  for interpretation; are you looking for a soul-mate, life-partner,  mother-of-your-children or a no-strings-fling?</p>
<p>If my ten years of private practice as a relationship coach have made  anything clear, it's that relationships are truly complex. However, the  recipe for lasting love calls for five vital ingredients, and four  other expert dating coaches echo my findings. So, what are these five  ingredients; what is this five-fold path we help our clients walk, amble  and saunter along? It's a concept, an acronym and a memorable verb; and  it's what most of us wish we could do on yet another agonizing date:  A.S.C.E.N.D. A is for Appreciation; S for Self-awareness and Self-care; C  for Communication, E for Ending the war of the sexes, N for  Negotiation; and D for Divine dating.</p>
<p>But let's start with what we would like so much to ASCEND from shall  we? Why is dating such a misery, a drudgery and an ongoing opportunity  for dashed hopes and painful rejection? Mama Gena, Queen of Pleasure,  and founder and facilitator of the Womanly Arts Mastery Program, and  author of Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts says it's due in part to  our abundant expectations, as well as our baggage and past  disappointments that we haul around with us from date to date. Our poor  partner has to attempt to overcome our history of unmet expectations,  hurt feelings and broken heartedness in only a few short hours.</p>
<p>Jordan Harbinger is a dating coach and teacher with The Art of Charm,  which offers men primarily the skills of natural charisma, body  language, presence and being their authentic selves without apology. He  points to our &#8211; and especially men's &#8211; prideful egos as one of the main  pitfalls to pleasurable dating. With our attention on how the other  person is perceiving and judging us, and how and if we are measuring up,  there's little room left to be present with our date. Add to that our  fear and shame about admitting we've got a lot to learn about dating,  relationship and social dynamics. We feel like we should already know  how to be great on a date, amazing lovers and fantastic communicators.  We truly need that relationship education that almost none of us  actually got.</p>
<p>In addition, dating and mating rituals are far from clearly defined.  Is he supposed to call on Wednesday for a date on Saturday? Is she  supposed to text midday and demand a steamy meeting later in the  evening? Reid Mahalko is a bi-coastal sex educator and coach for  relationship self-esteem and sexual self-confidence. He chimes in,  reminding us that although we often manage to find decent people &#8211; which  used to be reason enough for our parents and grandparents to make a  lifelong marriage work &#8211; that is no longer enough. We need to learn to,  as Reid puts it, "date our species." We expect more out of our  relationships than ever before; sure our date needs to be a decent  person, but we also expect to meet our emotional, intellectual,  financial, familial spiritual, social and sexual match as well.<br />
Hollywood's  leading love and relationship expert Lauren Frances, who counsels  A-list celebrities and mentors women around the globe in creating what  she calls "legendary love affairs," adds that the fundamental underlying  obstacle to enjoyable dating is our lack of clear intention. Why are we  dating, to what end? What do we want to get out of courtship? Until  somewhat recently, dating was a means to the endpoint of marriage, which  created a lot of psychological safety.</p>
<p>Many of the women I work with experience what I call "Groundhog-Day  Dating." Like Bill Murray in the 1993 movie who awoke day after day  destined to repeat the same painful patterns, so it is for many of us in  dating. We inherit these relationship ruts from our families of origins  and our culture. We are often perplexed that our hard work and good  will does nothing to shift our attraction to the "wrong" person over and  over again. We KNOW what to do, but we don't.</p>
<p>So, now that we know how and why dating sucks so bad, how do we start  to have a blast instead? We A.S.C.E.N.D.</p>
<p>Starting with Appreciation is key. Deceptively simple and often  overlooked, appreciation in and of itself it doesn't always solve  complex issues or turn the date around, but it paves the way. And  without it, the date &#8211; and likely the rest of the relationship &#8211; is  headed downhill. Appreciation is afoot when you relish the experience of  the date itself, approve of your own self, and acknowledge the human  being you're on the date with &#8211; even if not the right man or woman for  you. "The more you honor your own journey and appreciate every step you  took, the more you will draw toward you the best experiences," says Mama  Gena.</p>
<p>The second step of the five-fold path is Self-awareness. Get on  intimate terms with what you want, what makes you happy, what thrills  you, your deal-breakers, the things you can't stand and even those  things you think you don't deserve but secretly hope for. Knowing want  you want is sexy. Get really clear who and what "your species" is &#8211; as  Reid Mihalko instructs &#8211; so you can see if you are on a date with them!  This second step also includes Self-care. The date starts before the  date; the more you invest in making yourself delicious, the more you  both will enjoy yourselves. Mind follows body and body follows mind.</p>
<p>The third ingredient in your delicious dating recipe is  Communication: words to sweetly break the ice, to gracefully extract  yourself from an uncomfortable date, to get you started appreciating the  human being you're with. Be kind, be interested in this person. Rather  than judgments, focus on finding commonalities and connecting on an  emotional level.</p>
<p>Fourthly, E is for Ending the war of the sexes. In case you didn't  notice, there is a sea of misunderstanding separating us from true  partnership. When we know men and women truly want (nope, not just to  get in her pants or to get at his credit card), we can actually begin to  have a sweet dating experience. In our heart of hearts, women want most  to be seen, to receive enlivening attention, and to be noticed afresh  each moment. See her, hear her, notice her, for real. Guys want to be  appreciated, respected and supported in their purpose. As a teacher of  mine once said, "Be happy and blame it on him."</p>
<p>Lauren Frances reminds us of the fifth step, Negotiation. Dates, she  says, especially first ones are mainly for "romantic research and  checking for compatibility coordinates. If you are marriage-minded, ask  your date if he or she believes in marriage &#8211; and listen very carefully  to the answer. If he or she balks, you've done a great job of uncovering  a serious relationship incompatibility. You WANT to scare the wrong  suitors off! Harmony in relationships comes from an alignment of "mutual  romantic intention.'" I always say it's more a question of sorting  through all our options than desperately hoping for this one to be The  One. They can be a truly great person, but not a right fit for you. If  you are not clear where you are going, it's hard to get there.</p>
<p>The sixth ingredient is D for Divine Dating, where all these five  steps have been leading. To turn an ordinary dating experience into a  transcendent one, begin with no expectations, while holding strongly  what you deeply desire. Stay present; feeling seen, heard and truly  appreciated are the things of falling in love as well as lasting love.  Continue to not taking anything personally, especially on first  encounters. Make sure to make the date somehow meaningful, so none of  your time spent with another person is ever wasted time. Although you  may want a coach to help access it, remember that you have all you need  inside. Although you may need a course to remind you, notice that on the  other side of your insecurities is the truth of your magnificence.</p>
<p>Not every date will result in a happy ending, but each can be an  affirmation that you are showing up for your love life fully and you are  taking the right actions. Become more committed to your divine dating  experience than feeling bad about your failures. Develop a point of view  about your partner that is loving, even if he or she isn't a fit for  your relationship intentions. Who you are in every moment &#8211; including  swapping stories over margaritas &#8211; is who you are in life and in love.  Says Mama Gena, "We are each responsible for bringing the recognition of  our own divinity, which allows us to see it in the other."</p>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p><em><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>LiYana Silver, </strong></span>Relationship Expert and regular contributor to New York  Spirit, is known for her bold, fresh guidance for women and their  partners, who want to ASCEND out of painful patterns and relationship  ruts and into partnerships that are strong, sexy, sane and sustainable  in the 21st Century. For belief re-patterning, coaching, Change Your  Relationship Destiny and Reclaim Your Radiance courses, and to make the  complex actionable and the perplexing pleasurable, visit her website: <a href="../" target="_blank">www.love3point0.com</a>. </em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p>• For Mama Gena's Womanly Arts Mastery Arts program and upcoming  Pleasure Bootcamp: <a href="http://www.mamagenas.com/" target="_blank">www.mamagenas.com</a>.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p>• For Jordan Harbinger, his team of coaches and Attraction Arts weeklong  programs for men in NYC in June 2010: <a href="http://www.theartofcharm.com" target="_blank">www.theartofcharm.com. </a></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p>• For  Reid Mihalko's downloadable products on sex and relationship as well as  coaching: <a href="http://www.reidaboutsex.com/" target="_blank">www.reidaboutsex.com</a>.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p>• For Lauren Frances' Romantic Reboot tele-classes, Online Profile  writing seminars, free Manhandling PodCasts, and amazing Man Magnet  Makeover Seminars in NYC in June: <a href="http://www.laurenfrances.com/" target="_blank">www.laurenfrances.com</a>.</div>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;"></p>
<p>AND &#8230;. don't forget to leave a comment!  What's your experience with dating in the 21st Century?  Divine? Dumb? Desperate? Delicious?</span></strong></p>
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		<title>Is Lasting Love Humanly Possible?</title>
		<link>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/is-lasting-love-humanly-possible</link>
		<comments>http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/is-lasting-love-humanly-possible#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:57:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LiYana</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/?p=4380</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You might not suspect this about me, being a relationship  expert and coach and all, but it's important stuff to know:
I  truly messed up every single relationship before the one I am in  now.  Really. Lying, cheating, shaming, blaming, getting bored &#8211; I  did it just about every way but [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You might not suspect this about me, being a relationship  expert and coach and all, but it's important stuff to know:</p>
<p>I  truly messed up every single relationship before the one I am in  now.  Really. Lying, cheating, shaming, blaming, getting bored &#8211; I  did it just about every way but right.</p>
<p>Over the years, I started  asking, is it me? Is it them? Why was I so stuck in a rut, destined  to painful, short-lived relationships?</p>
<p>Fast forward 10 years,  and I've learned a thing or two &#8211; or actually three &#8211; that I've  gathered together in one workshop.</p>
<p>If you could turn the dial of  your certainty in lasting love, would you turn it?</p>
<p>If there  was a formula for shifting painful patterns, elegantly and  respectfully, would you want to experience it?</p>
<p>If there were  three keys that could completely change your relationship destiny,  would you want them placed in the palm of your hand?</p>
<p>If you  are in San Diego on Sunday, June 13th, my colleague Matthew Blom and  I will be joyously offering you all that &#8211; and more!</p>
<p>Change  Your Relationship Destiny<br />
The Three Keys to Lasting Love</p>
<p>Sunday,  June 13, 2010<br />
12:00 – 6:00pm<br />
San Diego area, CA</p>
<p>(For both  women and men, in partnership or out)</p>
<p>What's in store for you?</p>
<p>Read  below and/or watch the video:</p>
<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="500" height="405" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/FMlSxtRwpGU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0&amp;border=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="305" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/FMlSxtRwpGU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0&amp;border=1" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/" target="_blank">http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/</a></p>
<p>You  will experience:</p>
<p>* How painful patterns are formed, and the  three keys for shifting them (right at the workshop!)</p>
<p>* The  #1 element, without which all relationships fizzle, but with which  they thrive</p>
<p>* How to be seen, heard and appreciated by your  partner – and maintain that on-goingly</p>
<p>* That some of your  problems may not actually belong to you!</p>
<p>* Knowing that  lasting love is humanly possible!</p>
<p>* How to communicate in ways  that bring you closer, rather than dig you deeper into conflict</p>
<p>*  Experience the formula for untangling painful patterns, updating  your emotional inheritance &amp; creating lasting change</p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/" target="_blank">http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/</a></p>
<p>Space  is extremely limited &#8211; there are only 28 spaces.</p>
<p>So do act  quickly!</p>
<p>These are the three keys that allowed me to create the relationship  I am in now &#8211; seven years strong and sizzling, with our marriage in a  couple months!</p>
<p>These are the three keys that allow me to  communicate with grace and ease, to deeply appreciate my partner and myself  &#8211; and to course-correct when I get challenged.</p>
<p>These are the  three keys that give me the certainty that lasting love is,  absolutely, humanly possible.</p>
<p>That link again, to claim your  space and Change Your Relationship Destiny:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/" target="_blank">http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/</a></p>
<p>I  look forward to seeing you there,</p>
<p>LiYana</p>
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