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Thursday, June 7th, 2007

Could it be this simple?

The day started out well, my skin waking up next to the skin of my beloved, a clear swath of time devoted to all the things in my business i haven't been able to get to. But by the early afternoon, I felt strange. Uninspired. My goals far off and remote and like I've got to slog a marathon through molasses to get to them. Internet marketing is a stretch for me. Sometimes I enjoy the learning curve and I feel proud and accomplished, like I just cut down a huge tree with only my two arms and a hand-saw. Sometimes I just want to gnaw my own leg off – anything to get out of learning this shit.

When my boyfriend got home, I stepped into the shower and responded dismally to his queries about my day. As he spoke to me through the shower steam, the fog in my head and heart cleared a little and I thought, apparently I only sleep with geniuses. Let me count the ways I love this man. Could it really be this simple? I bet you are wondering what he said to me.

He said a lot of things, but first and foremost he said, "You should just do the things that are fun for you."

Now, I know all this. And most times I live this. But not today. Today I forgot. Today I played the hide and seek game we all love to play as humans: the forgetting and remembering game. Forgetting that life is on our side all along. Remembering that if we follow what we love, if we lean toward what is most fun, like a plant leans toward the sunlight, life opens its richest heart to us.

I stepped away from the computer, made a New Mexican green chili stew, a quinoa salad with cumin and scallions and fruit and nut bars (we're both not eating sugar these days, but still have a sweet tooth!). It felt good to create something tangible, do something I love, and that I am good at! When I sat back down, I made a list of what would be most fun for me as I continue to build my business. I proceeded to write fun and inspired emails. An hour later, someone I hadn't even thought to contact wrote and asked me about creating a workshop series for her new mothers group.

In fact, yes, it really is this simple.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine…
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination.
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

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Posted by LiYana at 6:13 pm

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