Conscious Touching Exercise

Time to set aside: 15-20 minutes, not including preparing your space

  1. Prepare an inviting, sexy, sensually rich space and invite your partner into it. This could mean lighting candles, putting on music, incense, opening the window for a cool breeze, having some wine or a bath beforehand. you get the idea.
  2. Take a moment to connect, settle down from whatever you were doing before, and be with your partner. Maybe you want to look into each other's eyes, notice each other's breathing, or put a hand on each other's hearts. Something to connect you and get you both on the same level.
  3. For each different kind of touch, you will touch your partner first, then ask your partner which they liked better and why. Explain the type of touch you were practicing on them. Then switch roles, so they can try it on you. You can pick anywhere to touch, but the arm or leg work well.

    Intentional Touch: First, try touching your partner while your mind is distracted, while you are not paying much attention at all. Then, touch them intentionally: take a breath in, focus on your genital area, and then breathe the breath out through your heart, with love toward that person. As you breathe out, touch them. Finally, ask your partner which they liked better and why. Switch roles.

    As You Like It Touch: First, try touching your partner the way you think they would like to be touched, in a way that you think would bring them pleasure. Then, touch them in a way that brings you pleasure, notice the sensation of touching them, take delight in touching them. Finally, ask your partner which they liked better and why. Switch roles.

    Depth Touch: Bring your hand about 6 inches above the skin of your partner. Imagine that your hand is already on the skin of your partner. Begin to bring your hand closer and closer to them, so by the time your hand reaches their actual skin, it is as though you are 6 inches deep into their arm or leg. Ask your partner to describe how that felt. Switch roles.

    Drag and Flow Touch: Place your hand lightly on the skin of your partner. Imagine that their skin is a moveable, shapeable substance, like water, silk, sand, tiny pebbles or honey. Move and drag and flow your hand over and through their skin – this substance keeping your mind focused on whatever substance you are imagining. Ask your partner to describe how that felt. Switch roles.

  4. Take some time to share the experience – what it was like for both of you.

Go to Five Senses Exercise
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