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Welcome to Re-Defining Monogamy's Blog

Join LiYana's intrepid traipsing through the peaks and crannies of Sex, Relationship & Intimacy for the 21st Century

Monday, January 10th, 2011

Mini Relationship Tip: Pop-Porn

This one's for guy's eyes, but women, you're welcome to be a fly on the wall.

I liken porn to junk food. Pop-corn, pop-porn, you get the metaphor. But lust because I am using "porn" and "junk food" in the same sentence doesn't mean I am saying you shouldn't have any.

Life is no fun without a little junk food, right? It's fun, it's tasty, it's a rush, it is an indulgence, it reminds us of our adolescence and it can be comforting.

But you have to watch out for too much, because then you get sluggish, low-energy, overweight, depressed, and other serious diseases. A good rule for food is 90% of the time eat healthy, whole, nutritious food that makes you healthy, happy, energized and ready for life. 10% of the time is for whatever junk food does it for you.

The same goes for porn.

Porn is like junk food. A little here and there is fun, tasty, a rush, an indulgence, reminds you of your adolescence and it can be comforting.

Porn can be hot. Porn can be fun, I am not suggesting you should have NO PORN.

I just want to draw some attention to some side-effects from over-saturation of porn.

Too much porn is numbing, de-sensitizing, it limits the depth of sensuality that is possible to have with another human being, and quite honestly, narrows your capacity as a great lover.

I suggest that you consider porn to be junk food, not your mainstay of sensual and sexual sustenance and nourishment.

Not easy. Porn is hurled at you from every corner. Most men I have asked said they first learned about or encountered sex from pornography. Porn is where you so often get your schooling around sex and sensuality. It is what you were weaned on, and that is the steady diet incessantly tossed your way for your whole lifetime.

(Yes, there is porn made for and by women, but in general, porn is consumed by and created for men.)

So, porn is where too many men get their information on what is sexy, what is sensual, what a sexy body should look like, what gets a person off.

Which is all often far from a real life encounter with a real live partner.

Eating junk food all the time can't create a healthy, vital being. Likewise, a steady diet of porn also cannot create a healthy, vital, integrated sensual, aware human being.

So, this week:

1. You don't have to give porn up, just consider whittling it down to 10%, as a delicious indulgence. And consider devoting some of your energy to sex and sensuality in the real world.

It's time to get healthy, guys, time to expand your sexual nutrition horizons. What are your off-screen turn-ons? What makes real life women hot? What have you been missing that would make you a phenomenal lover? What do you have yet to learn to be fully on your game?

Enjoy, LiYana

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Posted by LiYana at 5:40 pm |  Comments Off on Mini Relationship Tip: Pop-Porn

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

Mini Relationship Tip: De-Fuse

You know how it goes. The conversation starts out OK, but all of a sudden it is like someone lit a fuse and set off a fireworks display of defensiveness, blame, lashing out, accusation, icy silence or hurled insults.

Want to know how keep that fuse from being lit, especially around this holiday time? How to De-Fuse an upset or conflict? How to cool it all down enough to restore some rationality, create some space for some real communication and connection?

I thought you might.

It is unchecked reactivity that is the highway robbery of connection. Reactivity can sideswipe and derail any well-meaning communication. By De-Fusing reactivity, the other person will feel like you still “have their back” rather than have suddenly become the aggressor or their opponent.

Some of these 12 ways will work well for colleagues and friends, others for your partners and family.

They are generalizations, since all of us humans are different and unique, but for the grand majority, they hold true.

These will work at the first sign of reactivity – yours or theirs. And it goes without saying that none of these will work unless they are 100% genuine and from your heart.

12 Ways To De-Fuse, this holiday season:

Pick one, or try all 12!

(You can sing along, if you'd like: "On the 12th day of De-Fusing, my true love gave to me …")

1. Start With Appreciation: It may not always be the first thing on your mind, but make it a practice to have it be the first thing out of your mouth. Tell 'em what you honestly love about them, what they did for you, said to you, how they moved you, etc. You'll not only activate your ability to be grateful, but you and others will rise in value and worth in your eyes.

2. Be Gentle. A full-frontal assault on someone, all guns blaring is usually not that effective, unless your aim is a knock-down, drag-out fight. If your aim is healthy communication, start with some vulnerability, with your throat bared, so to speak. This will set the stage for you both to be kind and considerate to each other.

3. Repeat It Back. What you hear is often a far cry from than what person intended. Since language is an approximation, we all interpret the same words in often vastly different ways. A good rule of thumb is to repeat back to someone what you think they just said: “So, here’s what I think I just heard you say. You are feeling/thinking…” Stopping to clarify in this way can save you so much of the pain that comes from the build-up of repeated misunderstanding.

Especially effective with men:

4. Consider Your Timing. Can he focus on you right now or would you do better to wait until later?

5. Acknowledgment. Tell him some way he has touched you, impressed you, something he has done well. Thank him. This opens him up to let down his guard and hear you.

6. Give Him Space. Sometimes guys need to take a long time to answer you, or they need to go away for a while and figure it out. If you give him space, he will come back with something great.

7. Give Him A Way to Win. Consider posing your communication in the form of a problem he can solve or you can solve together, rather than as something he isn't doing right. Guys come in to their element when there is a way for them to "win", to show up as a hero, and when there is something that they can fix.

Especially effective with women:

8. Make Physical Contact With Her, like a touch or a hug. Physical contact is grounding and calming like nothing else, and reminds her of your presence. She will stop worrying that you are outa there, and will then be open to hear what you have to say.

9. Remind Her That You Are Not Leaving. In a highly emotional and heated situation, especially if you walk away or become emotionally distant, women can become triggered and feel like you are leaving for good.

10. What Do You Love About Her? Is it the curve of her neck? Her rapier wit? Her grace? Tell her. Often in an upset, she may feel that you no longer love her (even if you said it earlier in the day), or that because you are angry, she is losing your love. Is there limit to the number of times you can tell a woman you love her, or what you love about her? Um, no.

And, for all humans, again…

11. Say It Differently. If someone is responding as though they haven’t heard you, no matter how many times you have said it before, THEY are not stupid, YOU have not said it in a WAY they can hear. Try using different words, tone or intention.

12. Go For Humour. For example, if your Aunt Mildred always badgers you about why you aren't married yet, or why YET AGAIN you didn't bring home a prospective partner, you can tell her something like, "Listen, I know you are excited to hear about the scores of marriage offers I've had to turn down this month and all the love letters I've framed on my wall. And I know you want to discuss what to cook for the eight suitors I brought, but let's find something else to talk about, OK?" Adjust humour and content accordingly…

Enjoy – and for extra points, tell me which one worked best!

LiYana

Posted by LiYana at 8:14 pm |  Comments Off on Mini Relationship Tip: De-Fuse

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time

————————————————————–
Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time.
—————————————————————

"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking  a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, 'I guess we answered that question.'" ~ Author Unknown

blondeinwhite copyHere's another way to answer the question of who comes first – or at all.

Ready?  No one. Neither of you!

The point of this is to shift the goal of a sexual experience from climax to exploration of sensation and expansion of pleasure.

So often sex is so climax-focused and goal-oriented that you can miss out on a ton of amazing stuff along the way.  This is about re-defining the goal as the pleasurable process itself.

Here's how it goes:

(Note: adjust this accordingly, depending on if you will be doing this with a partner, or by yourself)

1. Prepare an inviting, sexy, sensually-rich, comfortable space.

2. Take a moment to connect, settle down from whatever you were doing before.

3. Feel free to do whatever sensual and sexual things you want, however you usually do it, but remember to stay present to the sensations.  The goal is to have each moment be more pleasurable than the last.

If you feel your mind wandering, bring it back to what is going on, what sensations you are experiencing. If you feel close to climax, relax and breathe into the sensations, spreading them from your genitals throughout your body.

4. Continue, experiment, breathe, indulge, relax, communicate and enjoy!  But, Come Some Other Time.

OPTIONAL: Take some time to share the experience – what it was like for you to have sexual experience that’s focus was NOT focused on orgasm/climax, but on everything but?

What did you learn, what did you like, what would you like to throw away, what would you like to include in your future love-making?

By the way, this isn't to mean you should NEVER climax, just not THIS time 😉 .

"At some point while in the midst of making love, stop. Don't move. Look into your lover's eyes. Breathe in slowly and inhale their being. Feel God through them. Then continue to make love not as two people, but as
a God and a Goddess."
~ Anonymous

Enjoy,

LiYana

Posted by LiYana at 6:43 pm |  Comments Off on Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

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• Feeling like you always have to choose between YOU and a relationship?
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In this 5-week tele-course, you can expect to find and wield:

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Why SASSY? S. A. S. S.Y. … each one is one of the five secrets!


S . . . Stop War of Sexes (Week #1)

Discover what men really want from women (it’s not what you think); and how giving it to him is the best thing you can do for yourself
• Regain your deep respect for men, the zing of love and the soul-to-soul connection
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Learn how to move from impasse to intimacy in an instant
• Get everything you want from men, in a way where he’s inspired to give it
• Set the foundation for resolving tough conflicts with ease

 

 

S . . . Self-Awareness: (Week #3)

• Learn what stands in your way of happiness, pleasure and satisfaction – and move it gently aside
• Practice a simple method for turning down the mean, catty voices in your head (yes, we all have them)
• Answer the question once and for all, "Is it him or is it me?" and expect a surge of energy as you reclaim a big dose of your lost power

 

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• Those women who glow and are irresistibly attractive? This is how you become one!
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Y . . . Your Inner Guidance System (Week #5)

Find the source of your unshakable happiness, sassiness and fulfillment
• Know in your bones when you are with the right person
• Never again have to choose between yourself (or your freedom, or your creativity or your self-expression) and the relationship
• Discover and use the Principles of Feminine power to attract and receive your desires

 

 

Over 5 weeks, I’ll walk you (and a passionate, powerful group of women) through the 5 secrets. You’ll learn, you’ll practice and you’ll integrate, so the secrets are yours for your lifetime.

So, that’s 5 tele-classes, once a week, 1.5 hours each class. You’ll get simple exercises after each class to fully integrate all you are learning. PLUS: Bonus Q+A class, just to get all your questions answered.

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Now that I’m a newly divorced mom of a toddler and thinking about relationships again someday, I’ve got the tools to be the woman I want to be for my son, my family, my business and someday for a lover. I’m so glad I got clear on this before embarking on another relationship that could have been doomed before it even began.

~ Megan Franzen, Mom & Health Counselor, New York

 

"LiYana helped shed 
light on dark corners and merry go rounds that all my years of 
therapy didn’t enlighten or allow me to get off the endless 
circling. And he just asked me to marry him!

~ Elizabeth D’Agostino, Nonprofit Consultant, New York

 

“Working with LiYana is like working with a sure thing!”

~ Kelly Drury, Entrepreneur, New York

 

 

Schedule:

Tuesday, October 5
Tuesday, October 12
Tuesday, October 19
Monday, October 25
Monday, November 1 (Special bonus Q&A call)
Tuesday, November 2

5:15-6:45pm Pacific time / 8:15 – 9:45pm Eastern time


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Click here to register for Option 1, get your discount and collect your bonuses!

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Includes:

Get SASSY 5-Part Tele-Series plus bonus Q&A call
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Click here to register for Option 2, get your discount, set up your sessions and collect your bonuses!

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I can't wait to get started with you on your path to your birthright: sweet confidence, compelling radiance and an epic relationship – with yourself first!

To your sassy, saucy self,

LiYana

 

Questions? Email LiYana: liyana (at) love3point0 (dot) com or Contact LiYana here.

 

Posted by LiYana at 4:51 pm |  Comments Off on Get S.A.S.S.Y. 5-week tele-series

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

Mini Relationship Tip: Fearwalk

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How can we expect to have a great relationship with another without one with ourselves first?

A couple weeks ago, I sat in my living room, talking intensely with my husband. I forget what about, actually. Without meaning to be unkind, he laid some kind of truth on me, and up came some very strong emotions in me.

Shame. Feeling like a victim. Self-pity. Despair.

My first reaction was, "If I feel this, I'll die." Followed by, "OK, what if I fall into you, rather than resist?"

I prepared myself for a long ride. I pictured myself flinging myself on the bed, crying for days, fully feeling the breadth and depth. I opened into the strong emotion when usually I would have clamped down, closed, denied and resisted.

And yes, a flood came. It burnt and seared, tore and scratched. I breathed, relaxed, did my best to just not flex and tense up it as it came.

And 3 minutes later it left.

Huh? I had prepared for 3 hours, 3 days, but 3 minutes?

A friend of mine told me that researchers say the life-span of an emotion is 90 seconds – if we don't "feed" it with our resistance, judgment, denial, etc. Who knew?

I can't promise similar brevity, to you, or even to me next time, but I took the lesson to heart:

"Practicing love often means feeling through fear: intentionally opening yourself when you would rather close down, giving yourself when you would rather hide. Love means recognizing yourself as the open fullness of this moment regardless of its contents — trenchant thoughts, enchanting pleasures, heavy emotions, or gnawing pains — and surrendering all hold on the familiar act you call 'me'."

~ David Deida

So, today, your mini relationship tip is:

1. Next time you notice a strong emotion coming up, and the familiar feeling of "If I feel that, I'll die," try feeling through the fear, the reaction to blame, lash out,  crumple or run.

Intentionally open yours elf when you would rather close down.  Give yourself when you would rather hide.

Why? To not move the way fear makes you move; to move the way love asks you to move.

To your fearwalk,

LiYana

Posted by LiYana at 4:40 pm |  Comments Off on Mini Relationship Tip: Fearwalk

Friday, August 27th, 2010

Spirituality and Sexuality

Can there be devotion AND desire?  Can sexuality and spirituality coexist?  Could perhaps fully embracing both devotion to the spiritual and desire in a sexual sense, each draw you deeper into the other?

"Drop this antagonism toward sex. If you ever want love to shower in your life, renounce this conflict with sex. Accept sex blissfully. Acknowledge its sacredness. Acknowledge its benediction. Go on searching deeper and deeper into it, and you will be amazed that the more you accept sex with a quality of sacredness, the more sacred it will become. And the more you are in conflict with it, as if it were something sinful and dirty, the more sinful and ugly it will become. "

~ Osho

Osho, in case you are not familiar with him, was also known as Rajneesh, an Indian guru, whose ashram still exists in Pune, India, a place I've been several times. Although there are plenty of quirks about Osho, the Ashram and his teachings, I do love his perspective, so similar to Vedic Tantrism.

Tantra, for most of us, conjures up Sting having sex for eight hours at a time.  Not a bad image for some of us ;-). but Tantra isn't only about sex.  It's actually a larger philosophy, and views on sex is one part of that larger philosophy.

Vedic Tantrics were the odd-balls of India, sort of like the mystic Sufis were to Islam. (Think poets like Rumi, Hafiz and Lalla). Vedic Tantric philosophy espouses that there is nowhere to get to, in your spiritual seekings.  There is nothing to transcend, no place to work hard to be let into, if you are good enough, right enough, pure enough, etc.

They assert that there is nowhere you could go that isn't the divine.  You are the Divine. The Divine is having a human experience through you.

Sure does take a lot of pressure off to constantly struggle and strive to get somewhere else besides here, in order to be finally OK.  Whew.

They also say that anything you repress or resist has power over you, and so they  dive into the things they are resisting or repressing, like sex. One of the only spiritual teachings to INCLUDE rather than exclude sex, i take off my hat to the Vedic Tantrics.  Spiritual doesn't have to exclude Sexual.

The best thing I could wish on any of you, and certainly myself, is to have "love shower in my life" as Osho says.  Here's to your showers of love!

Posted by LiYana at 6:05 pm |  Comments Off on Spirituality and Sexuality

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

Is Polyamory Wrong?

From this site:  http://tcritic.com/archives/polyamory-is-wrong/

polyamory-is-wrong

What do YOU think?

Posted by LiYana at 9:51 pm |  1 Comment

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

What is the color of Love?

When I was little, my dad could never keep our toothbrushes straight.

So as not to keep using mine or my mom's, he created a color-coding system. Red for Roland (my dad), Blue for Beverly (my mom) and Yellow for LiYana (that's me).

OK, yellow for LiYana was a stretch, but they didn't make Lavender toothbrushes in 1979.

And the color coding system stuck, and went for things other than dental care, like jackets, pens, folders, etc.

My wonderful father passed away almost two years ago. About 10 days ago, on Father's day, I picked my head up out of my computer (buried as I was in the details of an all-consuming launch), because I realized I couldn't call him to say hi and acknowledge him for his fathering. And I missed him.

One of my coaches suggested (and please use this if it resonates with you!) that I find a sign or object for my father to let his presence be known, even that's he's passed. So, every time I see Red (like a bird or a valentine or lipgloss), I think of him.

It felt a little funny to be working away on a Sunday AND on Father's Day, but this launch must go on. No turning back and all that.

Hard or as much as I work, it's vital to me that each thing I do, whether a client session, an email, or even mundane details, be done with Love. Love and care and good ju-ju, it all gets in there. You can feel it.

And so it felt like a mini omen to get an email from my mom, later that Father's day, telling me some things she remembered about her beloved husband of nearly 40 years. She signed her email, "Red for Roland, Blue for Beverly and Love for LiYana."

Well, Dad, thanks for showing up in things like cardinals, fire engine lipstick, and my favorite crimson shirt. And, Mom, I guess instead of Yellow, it'll be Love for LiYana from now on.

What, after all, is the color of Love?

If you want to take another peek at this launch I've put so much Love into, you can Love it up here:

http://www.radiance2010.com/liyana

"Love is all around you like the air, and is the very breath of your being." ~ Barry Long

To Love, LiYana

PS: If you are moved to, send this on to other women who might like a little more love and radiance!

http://www.radiance2010.com/liyana

Posted by LiYana at 10:01 am |  Comments Off on What is the color of Love?

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Divine Dating

ASCEND

A Five-fold Path for Divine Dating in the 21st Century

Published in New York Spirit Magazine, Summer 2010

By LiYana Silver

Have you ever wondered if dating is a modern form of torture, an iron maiden slowly squeezing the last breaths from our hopeful hearts? Is the dating pool a mass of muck and mire to be paddled through in hopes of reaching the far-off shores of our ideal relationship? Or could dating be a transcendent experience, a meeting of gods and goddesses in shining, soul-opening moments over cocktails? Could dating be divine? I consulted four other relationship experts who offered some heavenly answers to these worldly questions and revealed a five-fold path that can illuminates our way.

Dating. It ain't what it used to be. The entire rulebook of courtship seems to have changed. The hows, wheres, whens, whats and whys barely even resemble those of our parents or grandparents. The internet is just over a generation old, drastically influencing how and where we meet people. How do you know when is the right time to call, to have sex, to stop dating other people? What we do on dates – and why – is also open for interpretation; are you looking for a soul-mate, life-partner, mother-of-your-children or a no-strings-fling?

If my ten years of private practice as a relationship coach have made anything clear, it's that relationships are truly complex. However, the recipe for lasting love calls for five vital ingredients, and four other expert dating coaches echo my findings. So, what are these five ingredients; what is this five-fold path we help our clients walk, amble and saunter along? It's a concept, an acronym and a memorable verb; and it's what most of us wish we could do on yet another agonizing date: A.S.C.E.N.D. A is for Appreciation; S for Self-awareness and Self-care; C for Communication, E for Ending the war of the sexes, N for Negotiation; and D for Divine dating.

But let's start with what we would like so much to ASCEND from shall we? Why is dating such a misery, a drudgery and an ongoing opportunity for dashed hopes and painful rejection? Mama Gena, Queen of Pleasure, and founder and facilitator of the Womanly Arts Mastery Program, and author of Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts says it's due in part to our abundant expectations, as well as our baggage and past disappointments that we haul around with us from date to date. Our poor partner has to attempt to overcome our history of unmet expectations, hurt feelings and broken heartedness in only a few short hours.

Jordan Harbinger is a dating coach and teacher with The Art of Charm, which offers men primarily the skills of natural charisma, body language, presence and being their authentic selves without apology. He points to our – and especially men's – prideful egos as one of the main pitfalls to pleasurable dating. With our attention on how the other person is perceiving and judging us, and how and if we are measuring up, there's little room left to be present with our date. Add to that our fear and shame about admitting we've got a lot to learn about dating, relationship and social dynamics. We feel like we should already know how to be great on a date, amazing lovers and fantastic communicators. We truly need that relationship education that almost none of us actually got.

In addition, dating and mating rituals are far from clearly defined. Is he supposed to call on Wednesday for a date on Saturday? Is she supposed to text midday and demand a steamy meeting later in the evening? Reid Mahalko is a bi-coastal sex educator and coach for relationship self-esteem and sexual self-confidence. He chimes in, reminding us that although we often manage to find decent people – which used to be reason enough for our parents and grandparents to make a lifelong marriage work – that is no longer enough. We need to learn to, as Reid puts it, "date our species." We expect more out of our relationships than ever before; sure our date needs to be a decent person, but we also expect to meet our emotional, intellectual, financial, familial spiritual, social and sexual match as well.
Hollywood's leading love and relationship expert Lauren Frances, who counsels A-list celebrities and mentors women around the globe in creating what she calls "legendary love affairs," adds that the fundamental underlying obstacle to enjoyable dating is our lack of clear intention. Why are we dating, to what end? What do we want to get out of courtship? Until somewhat recently, dating was a means to the endpoint of marriage, which created a lot of psychological safety.

Many of the women I work with experience what I call "Groundhog-Day Dating." Like Bill Murray in the 1993 movie who awoke day after day destined to repeat the same painful patterns, so it is for many of us in dating. We inherit these relationship ruts from our families of origins and our culture. We are often perplexed that our hard work and good will does nothing to shift our attraction to the "wrong" person over and over again. We KNOW what to do, but we don't.

So, now that we know how and why dating sucks so bad, how do we start to have a blast instead? We A.S.C.E.N.D.

Starting with Appreciation is key. Deceptively simple and often overlooked, appreciation in and of itself it doesn't always solve complex issues or turn the date around, but it paves the way. And without it, the date – and likely the rest of the relationship – is headed downhill. Appreciation is afoot when you relish the experience of the date itself, approve of your own self, and acknowledge the human being you're on the date with – even if not the right man or woman for you. "The more you honor your own journey and appreciate every step you took, the more you will draw toward you the best experiences," says Mama Gena.

The second step of the five-fold path is Self-awareness. Get on intimate terms with what you want, what makes you happy, what thrills you, your deal-breakers, the things you can't stand and even those things you think you don't deserve but secretly hope for. Knowing want you want is sexy. Get really clear who and what "your species" is – as Reid Mihalko instructs – so you can see if you are on a date with them! This second step also includes Self-care. The date starts before the date; the more you invest in making yourself delicious, the more you both will enjoy yourselves. Mind follows body and body follows mind.

The third ingredient in your delicious dating recipe is Communication: words to sweetly break the ice, to gracefully extract yourself from an uncomfortable date, to get you started appreciating the human being you're with. Be kind, be interested in this person. Rather than judgments, focus on finding commonalities and connecting on an emotional level.

Fourthly, E is for Ending the war of the sexes. In case you didn't notice, there is a sea of misunderstanding separating us from true partnership. When we know men and women truly want (nope, not just to get in her pants or to get at his credit card), we can actually begin to have a sweet dating experience. In our heart of hearts, women want most to be seen, to receive enlivening attention, and to be noticed afresh each moment. See her, hear her, notice her, for real. Guys want to be appreciated, respected and supported in their purpose. As a teacher of mine once said, "Be happy and blame it on him."

Lauren Frances reminds us of the fifth step, Negotiation. Dates, she says, especially first ones are mainly for "romantic research and checking for compatibility coordinates. If you are marriage-minded, ask your date if he or she believes in marriage – and listen very carefully to the answer. If he or she balks, you've done a great job of uncovering a serious relationship incompatibility. You WANT to scare the wrong suitors off! Harmony in relationships comes from an alignment of "mutual romantic intention.'" I always say it's more a question of sorting through all our options than desperately hoping for this one to be The One. They can be a truly great person, but not a right fit for you. If you are not clear where you are going, it's hard to get there.

The sixth ingredient is D for Divine Dating, where all these five steps have been leading. To turn an ordinary dating experience into a transcendent one, begin with no expectations, while holding strongly what you deeply desire. Stay present; feeling seen, heard and truly appreciated are the things of falling in love as well as lasting love. Continue to not taking anything personally, especially on first encounters. Make sure to make the date somehow meaningful, so none of your time spent with another person is ever wasted time. Although you may want a coach to help access it, remember that you have all you need inside. Although you may need a course to remind you, notice that on the other side of your insecurities is the truth of your magnificence.

Not every date will result in a happy ending, but each can be an affirmation that you are showing up for your love life fully and you are taking the right actions. Become more committed to your divine dating experience than feeling bad about your failures. Develop a point of view about your partner that is loving, even if he or she isn't a fit for your relationship intentions. Who you are in every moment – including swapping stories over margaritas – is who you are in life and in love. Says Mama Gena, "We are each responsible for bringing the recognition of our own divinity, which allows us to see it in the other."

LiYana Silver, Relationship Expert and regular contributor to New York Spirit, is known for her bold, fresh guidance for women and their partners, who want to ASCEND out of painful patterns and relationship ruts and into partnerships that are strong, sexy, sane and sustainable in the 21st Century. For belief re-patterning, coaching, Change Your Relationship Destiny and Reclaim Your Radiance courses, and to make the complex actionable and the perplexing pleasurable, visit her website: www.love3point0.com.

• For Mama Gena's Womanly Arts Mastery Arts program and upcoming Pleasure Bootcamp: www.mamagenas.com.

• For Jordan Harbinger, his team of coaches and Attraction Arts weeklong programs for men in NYC in June 2010: www.theartofcharm.com.

• For Reid Mihalko's downloadable products on sex and relationship as well as coaching: www.reidaboutsex.com.

• For Lauren Frances' Romantic Reboot tele-classes, Online Profile writing seminars, free Manhandling PodCasts, and amazing Man Magnet Makeover Seminars in NYC in June: www.laurenfrances.com.

AND …. don't forget to leave a comment! What's your experience with dating in the 21st Century? Divine? Dumb? Desperate? Delicious?

Posted by LiYana at 8:47 pm |  Comments Off on Divine Dating

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

Is Lasting Love Humanly Possible?

You might not suspect this about me, being a relationship expert and coach and all, but it's important stuff to know:

I truly messed up every single relationship before the one I am in now. Really. Lying, cheating, shaming, blaming, getting bored – I did it just about every way but right.

Over the years, I started asking, is it me? Is it them? Why was I so stuck in a rut, destined to painful, short-lived relationships?

Fast forward 10 years, and I've learned a thing or two – or actually three – that I've gathered together in one workshop.

If you could turn the dial of your certainty in lasting love, would you turn it?

If there was a formula for shifting painful patterns, elegantly and respectfully, would you want to experience it?

If there were three keys that could completely change your relationship destiny, would you want them placed in the palm of your hand?

If you are in San Diego on Sunday, June 13th, my colleague Matthew Blom and I will be joyously offering you all that – and more!

Change Your Relationship Destiny
The Three Keys to Lasting Love

Sunday, June 13, 2010
12:00 – 6:00pm
San Diego area, CA

(For both women and men, in partnership or out)

What's in store for you?

Read below and/or watch the video:

http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/

You will experience:

* How painful patterns are formed, and the three keys for shifting them (right at the workshop!)

* The #1 element, without which all relationships fizzle, but with which they thrive

* How to be seen, heard and appreciated by your partner – and maintain that on-goingly

* That some of your problems may not actually belong to you!

* Knowing that lasting love is humanly possible!

* How to communicate in ways that bring you closer, rather than dig you deeper into conflict

* Experience the formula for untangling painful patterns, updating your emotional inheritance & creating lasting change

http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/

Space is extremely limited – there are only 28 spaces.

So do act quickly!

These are the three keys that allowed me to create the relationship I am in now – seven years strong and sizzling, with our marriage in a couple months!

These are the three keys that allow me to communicate with grace and ease, to deeply appreciate my partner and myself – and to course-correct when I get challenged.

These are the three keys that give me the certainty that lasting love is, absolutely, humanly possible.

That link again, to claim your space and Change Your Relationship Destiny:

http://www.love3point0.com/destiny/

I look forward to seeing you there,

LiYana

Posted by LiYana at 10:57 am |  Comments Off on Is Lasting Love Humanly Possible?

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