Becoming More Attractive

"Do you love me because I'm beautiful,
or am I beautiful because you love me?"
~ Oscar Hammerstein, II

Yes, there are superficial things that have a good bit to do with attraction.

There is a place for a nice ass, a great car, gorgeous eyes, a lovely singing voice – or whatever does it for you. Some of those superficial things you can cultivate or bring out in yourself, and some of them you just have or don't have this incarnation.

But that is not what I want to talk about here.

I want to talk about the profound things that can have you become more and more attractive.

Boiling it down to the simplest terms, being more attractive is being unabashedly, unapologetically who you are. Loving what you love, doing your bliss, radiating the being you ARE.

The unfettered you is wildly, deliciously attractive.

Mainly, though, you block your essence, second guess yourself, try to be the facsimile of someone attractive, or imitate the models of attractiveness you see around you.

You never even give yourself a chance to be the big, brilliant being you are. It is hard to celebrate yourself, to be radiant, when you are constantly weighed down with the effort of trying to be something you are not.

What attracts a man to a woman is her radiance, her light and her delight shining out of her.

On one level, yes, he might be a leg man or a breast man, but what will seize his heart and his devotion is the radiant YOU. For a man, women are like an IV drip of pure life, replete with all its changes, surprises, nourishments and anguishes. Without a radiant woman, he is a dry man.

What attracts a woman to a man is his presence, his rooted-ness, his strong, still center, like the eye of the storm.

We women want men to pay bold attention to us, witness us, see us, enjoy us, celebrate us, and bring some rooting and grounding to the storm of creation, flux and change that we are. Of course we are attracted to a myriad of superficial attributes in a man, but without a witness, without grounding, we can be a real mess. We can certainly provide grounding for ourselves, but in playing the game of attraction, we look for it in a man.

There are lots of ingredients in this soup pot of attraction: you become attractive as a result of feeling and acting attractive, because you cultivate your attractiveness, and because others bring it out in their seeing of you.

Go on to Maintaining Attraction
Back to Relationship With Others

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