Monday, January 10th, 2011

Mini Relationship Tip: Pop-Porn

This one's for guy's eyes, but women, you're welcome to be a fly on the wall.

I liken porn to junk food. Pop-corn, pop-porn, you get the metaphor. But lust because I am using "porn" and "junk food" in the same sentence doesn't mean I am saying you shouldn't have any.

Life is no fun without a little junk food, right? It's fun, it's tasty, it's a rush, it is an indulgence, it reminds us of our adolescence and it can be comforting.

But you have to watch out for too much, because then you get sluggish, low-energy, overweight, depressed, and other serious diseases. A good rule for food is 90% of the time eat healthy, whole, nutritious food that makes you healthy, happy, energized and ready for life. 10% of the time is for whatever junk food does it for you.

The same goes for porn.

Porn is like junk food. A little here and there is fun, tasty, a rush, an indulgence, reminds you of your adolescence and it can be comforting.

Porn can be hot. Porn can be fun, I am not suggesting you should have NO PORN.

I just want to draw some attention to some side-effects from over-saturation of porn.

Too much porn is numbing, de-sensitizing, it limits the depth of sensuality that is possible to have with another human being, and quite honestly, narrows your capacity as a great lover.

I suggest that you consider porn to be junk food, not your mainstay of sensual and sexual sustenance and nourishment.

Not easy. Porn is hurled at you from every corner. Most men I have asked said they first learned about or encountered sex from pornography. Porn is where you so often get your schooling around sex and sensuality. It is what you were weaned on, and that is the steady diet incessantly tossed your way for your whole lifetime.

(Yes, there is porn made for and by women, but in general, porn is consumed by and created for men.)

So, porn is where too many men get their information on what is sexy, what is sensual, what a sexy body should look like, what gets a person off.

Which is all often far from a real life encounter with a real live partner.

Eating junk food all the time can't create a healthy, vital being. Likewise, a steady diet of porn also cannot create a healthy, vital, integrated sensual, aware human being.

So, this week:

1. You don't have to give porn up, just consider whittling it down to 10%, as a delicious indulgence. And consider devoting some of your energy to sex and sensuality in the real world.

It's time to get healthy, guys, time to expand your sexual nutrition horizons. What are your off-screen turn-ons? What makes real life women hot? What have you been missing that would make you a phenomenal lover? What do you have yet to learn to be fully on your game?

Enjoy, LiYana

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Posted by LiYana at 5:40 pm  Comments Off on Mini Relationship Tip: Pop-Porn

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